异常项目记录

前言:SCP基金會發現了為數不少的項目無用得不值得進一步關注。本文件列出了那些激起了一些好奇心的項目。作為資源,這些項目的知識在將來變得有用或必要。
——█████ █████博士,Site ██研究主管

由于基金会发现的项目的数量增长,这一列表不再开放条目。为便于归档,第二卷记录现已可用。

項目描述:一盞打不破的燈。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:████,████████
目前狀態:存放於Rights博士於Site-██的辦公室。
注:這是最初因缺乏進一步研究的價值和幾乎不需要特殊收容,而被分類為「異常」並否定所有SCP分類物品的其中一個。

項目描述:一枚便士,當擲起時,總是會「圖案在上」地著地。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:███████,████
目前狀態:運送到永久儲藏室。
注:真不敢相信沒一個研究員為了勝出輸賭而保留它。

項目描述:一枝普通的███████牌的2號鉛筆1,能輕易地用頂端一側立起幾小時。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:████████,███████
目前狀態:已焚毀。
注:我甚至不肯定它為什麼是個異常。也許它只是有個非常平的頂端。
通知:在沒有相應權限下銷毀異常項目是個對基金會政策的重大違反。這一定不能再發生。— 站點主管 █████ █████。

項目描述:一幅令觀看者輕微膈肌痙攣或打嗝的畫(可能是風景畫,記錄不清晰)。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:███████,███████
目前狀態:已焚毀。
注:這明顯是個痛苦的工作,但他們不是至少也該試試找出它是怎樣發生的嗎?
通知:在沒有相應權限下銷毀異常項目是個對基金會政策的重大違反。這一定不能再發生。— 站點主管 █████ █████。

項目描述:普通的蛞蝓,其足跡具有與商業品牌的田園風料調味料完全相同的化學成分和味道。牠們似乎每週都會以二分裂繁殖。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:███████,████
目前狀態:於動物倉庫中。過剩的實體已被焚毀。

項目描述:一塊從未知來源發出耀眼白光的小石頭。除此之外普通不過。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:███████,██████
目前狀態:目前由Light博士擁有。
注:沒有輻射,沒有生命跡象,什麼都沒有。如果不出意外,這是對宇宙費解的本質的提醒。

項目描述:一把 1964 年的史密斯威森.41麥格農左輪手槍。當任何彈藥從第三膛室射擊,一把身份不明的男子聲音會大叫「射得好!」。
回收日期:09-03-████
回收地點:美國,堪薩斯州,威奇托
目前狀態:保存於Site 19的老式武器倉庫。
注:除了異常,還完全可以使用和保養良好。使用此異常項目不需要準繩,甚至不需要精通槍械。無論射擊實際上如何,聲音聽起來都「很棒」。

項目描述:一個鐵線衣架。只有衣領大小為15.5"至 16.5"之間的長袖藍色男士襯衫能成功掛在其上。當衣架被使用時,所有其他衣服只會跌到地上。
回收日期:09-15-████
回收地點:加拿大,新斯科細亞省,哈利法克斯
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一個核雪景球。當搖動時,並不會飄落雪花,而是出現一個小規模的核爆炸。其會不會發出幅射、聲音或衝力,而每次搖動均會改變爆炸模式。已觀察到事後影響,如放射性雪和黑雨。在隨機時間間隔內,雪景球會包含一個小棚子、汽車或卡車,均會對爆炸產生反應。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:俄羅斯,Sokrovenno2
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一隻總是移動得比正常緩慢的松鼠,就算是在跳躍或下降,依然會像「慢動作」的錄影鏡頭。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:███████,███████家庭露營地
目前狀態:處於動物倉庫中。

項目描述:一個廉價的塑料乒乓球,每天會由紅色變成綠色兩次。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:美國,加利福尼亚州,██████████
目前狀態:位於儲藏室19-553B的儲物櫃底下。需要維護團隊取出對象。

項目描述:一頂白色的牛仔帽。任何戴上的人會被迫不受控地大叫和跳方步3
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:得克薩斯州,██ ██████
目前狀態:保存於一間很少使用的測試室,在員工生日派對時被取出。

項目描述:偶爾能擲出七的六面骰。
回收日期:██-██-19██
回收地點:馬里蘭州,████████的████████遊戲學會
目前狀態:用於McCallum博士的研究。
研究個屁。他只是用那該死的東西來在他的偷襲傷害上作弊。——Morgan博士

項目描述:C███-C███牌的造型可樂玻璃杯。用此玻璃杯飲用的液體均被報告味道像P████牌的可樂。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:Site-19
目前狀態:被食堂工作人員P. ███████在清洗後跌落而銷毀。

項目描述:一把.500███ ██████隨身武器4,會發射所有已裝填的定裝彈,好像它們是空包彈。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:████,██████████
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一直飄浮在任何被提供的表面上空恰好7厘米處的玻璃紙鎮。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:██,█████████的██████殯儀館
目前狀態:在離奇的無伴奏合唱事故中碎裂。McCallum博士目前正被盤問。

項目描述:一個在視覺上能容納一品脫(568 毫升)液體,但倒入多於 35 毫升時就會溢出的飲用玻璃杯。
回收日期:██-██-1998
回收地點:伊利諾伊州,████████
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一系列倒帶時會不斷改變演員、佈景和性交方法的色情錄像帶。似乎都關係到實際拍攝的電影,但質量不高。
回收日期:█-██-1995
回收地點:新澤西州,哈肯薩克
目前狀態:失蹤,相信已丟失。 最近從██████博士的所有物中回收。 於儲藏室。

項目描述:一尊高76厘米的小丑雕像。在放置了此項目的房間中,無論何時關閉照明,都會記錄到一陣咯咯笑的聲音。
回收日期:05-16-200█
回收地點:德國,██████
目前狀態:被特工██████以9mm手槍射擊約15次。特工被懲戒。殘餘物沒有異常特性被記錄。

項目描述:一隻距離該物種自然棲息地幾千英里的雄性成年水豚(Hydrochoerus hydrochaeris),擁亮藍色和綠色的皮毛。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:威斯康辛州,████████
目前狀態:鑑定為使用了██████████牌染髮劑的走失特殊寵物。已交還原主;執行A級記憶消除;回收的特工被懲戒。

項目描述:一枝不能用來書寫的HB鉛筆,只能畫出吉米·罕醉克斯(Jimi Hendrix)在吃各種食物的擬真圖片。
回收日期:██-██-1979
回收地點:列支敦斯登,█████
目前狀態:在1993年於測試過程中意外折斷;部分鉛筆沒有保留異常特性,隨後被焚毀。

項目描述:一顆24000克拉的鑽石,被切割成一塊普通的建築用磚的大小和形狀。
回收日期:██-██-197█
回收地點:南非,███████
目前狀態:於儲藏室,等待識別來源。

項目描述:一件前面有「SCP: SECURE CONTAIN PROTECT」字樣的白色聚酯纖維混棉 T 恤,背面有一個附有說明文字「SCP-173:別貶眼(DON'T BLINK)」的粗糙但能辨識的SCP-173卡通圖案,除了它所意味的收容突破外,項目沒有異常特性。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:紐約州,紐約市,█████████舊貨店
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一張婚禮請帖,每六小時就會變成不同的婚禮請帖。到目前為止,所有請帖的婚禮均是在5至15年前,而涉及的人被發現並不存在。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:威爾士,██████████████████,█████████████書店
目前狀態:用作一次性便箋本產生器。

項目描述:██████████公司生產的16個月日程計劃本(2009年9月至2010年12月),會複製任何寫上的東西到所有其他的計劃本上。只會對未過去的日期/時間條目產生作用。
回收日期:██-██-2010
回收地點:佛羅里達州,██████ ████,██████ ███████辦公用品
目前狀態:基金會持有17本;仍在流通的數目不明(估計有█本)。研究人員正努力監測新條目以定位出餘下的計劃本。

項目描述:一個Ikea牌的掛鐘,似乎每秒會消失並重新出現一次。
回收日期:██-██-19██
回收地點:蘇格蘭,███████
目前狀態:在██/██/19██格林威治時間11:24消失。項目從沒突然出現,相信不可恢復。

項目描述:一個橡膠和金屬製的蒼蠅拍,當被用來殺死無脊椎動物,會導致使用者放聲大哭。
回收日期:██-██-19██
回收地點:蘇利南,█████,███████義務診所
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一枝矛,當被投擲時,會刺穿最近的人形物的心臟,之後會從其刀刃伸出幾個尖錐。特工需注意「最近的人形物」通常是投擲它的人。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:愛爾蘭,█████
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一套戰國風雲(Risk)遊戲5,圖版上的棋子數目可根據需要出現和消失而改變。骰子在硬面上滾動時會產生戰爭的聲音,而非預期的咔嗒聲。
回收日期:█-██-████
回收地點:俄勒岡州,████████
目前狀態:於Area 43的休息室作娛樂之用。

項目描述:一片藤蔓木炭,每當被用來書寫或繪畫,就會導致每幾秒就寫出「誰來救救我!我被困在木炭裡!」。
回收日期:█-██-████
回收地點:蘇格蘭,████████████
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一瓶盜版的█████ █████████香水,使用時會吸引半徑1公里範圍內的貓。在一次由超過4,000隻貓聚集而造成的███ ███████市中心交通堵塞後被發現。
回收日期:█-██-████
回收地點:██████████ ,███ ███████
目前狀態: 儲存在Site-██低價值物品儲藏室的一個密閉容器中。

項目描述:一台直立式鋼琴。如果人類觸摸了任何琴鍵,該人類會變得不可抵抗地被迫彈奏鋼琴和唱流行的百老匯音樂劇曲調三小時或直到彈奏者喪失能力。應注意此項目並不會給予音樂天賦、對曲調的知識、對歌詞的知識或合調地唱歌的能力。
回收日期:04-28-200█
回收地點:處於基金會Site 33的娛樂中心。鋼琴已存在於Site 33好幾年,但一直沒有表現其異常特性,直到[數據刪除]事件。
目前狀態:在收容突破中被大錘拆解;產生的碎片已被焚毀。殘留的灰燼已被證明沒有異常特性。

項目描述:一枝使用時會導致作者不知不覺地錯誤拼寫的 2 號鉛筆。錯誤的拼寫可用此鉛筆修正。
回收日期:06-██-20██
回收地點:Site 19用品櫥櫃
目前狀態:被意外破壞。物料沒有表現出異常特性。
注:你確定報告的人真的不是純粹對拼寫很不在行?

項目描述:一個白色塑料「光環」,當處於沒有犯下其何一項七宗罪的人頭上時會發光及漂浮。當被放置於其他的人之上時會發出紅光。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:████,███
目前狀態:被放置於████ ██████博士頭上後自行融化。

項目描述:包含$1至$20的美鈔,當被放置在外幣旁時會大聲尖叫。
回收日期:██-██-19██
回收地點:██,██ ██████,██████銀行
目前狀態:被碎紙機切碎;紙條均沒有表現出異常特性。

項目描述:裝有一段長11秒的雪人用斧頭殺害一名路人的時間循環的雪景球。
回收日期:12-25-20██
回收地點:美國,██,█████滑雪度假村
目前狀態:為美觀而放置於研究助理Goldsheiner的桌上。

項目描述:一個██████牌的搖頭公仔,搖頭時會導致使用者的頭部跟它一起搖擺。當搖得太用力時可造成頸部受傷。
回收日期:██-██-19██
回收地點:華盛頓州,西雅圖
目前狀態:處於Roget博士的辦公桌上。處於Roget博士辦公室的保險箱內。

項目描述:19世紀早期的俄製大砲。當柴可夫斯基的 1812序曲之結尾在大砲的可聽範圍內播放時,大砲會裝彈、上腔並射擊空彈(無可見的火藥來源)。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:████████,████████博物館,拿破崙戰爭展覽
目前狀態:作為Site-12員工花園的草坪裝飾保持。柴可夫斯基的1812序曲已加入站點的限制品「黑名單」中。

項目描述:一個直徑為11英吋的玻璃餐盤。當有機物被置於盤上時,它會開始分泌消化酶(主要是蛋白酶和纖維素酶),產生味道噁心的廢物和外觀討厭的食物。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:Site 19食堂,由最初認為廚房工作人員企圖毒害自己的初級研究員███████發現。
目前狀態:目前正由█████博士調查。

項目描述:一個白色咖啡杯,在當地時間3:00 AM時會將杯中的所有果汁替換成柚子汁。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:明尼蘇達州,███████
目前狀態:由助理研究員Jacobs持有。於儲藏室。
注:回收之後,在助理研究員Jacobs連續19天用項目裝柚子汁後,效果一直未能表現。於儲藏室。

項目描述:一對即使缺乏音樂或能源仍會不斷播放披頭士歌曲的無線耳機。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:美國,加利福尼亞州,████████音樂會
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一枝圓珠筆。以此筆書寫的數字中的小數點會在未來的314天中定期移動。
回收日期:11-03-20██
回收地點:Site-11的會計部門
目前狀態:儲存在Site-23的低價值物品側翼。

項目描述:一個命名為「~DFFF1C.tmp」的電腦檔案。檔案擁有負數的檔案大小-2 bytes;其在存儲介質的存在增加了可用空間。此檔案的複製本亦保留此特性,但編輯此檔案會將其大小改變為0 bytes。
回收日期:05-21-20██
回收地點:████ 博士家中的電腦
目前狀態:儲存於 ████ 博士的電腦,並在便攜式媒體上有多個備分。

項目描述:一顆三面骰:無論怎麼觀察,受試者均會報告它絕對有三個面,儘管這在物理上是不可能的。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:在[刪除]的一個桌上遊戲展。
目前狀態:被切成兩半,產生了兩顆一面骰。

項目描述:一台不明品牌和生產商的可調節高度式不銹鋼底板風扇。風扇只在曝露於由聽力範圍內無人識認的藝術家所寫的音樂時才能運作。
回收日期:██-██-1997
回收地點:佛羅里達州,傑克遜維爾
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一個被切開時時會發出年幼女孩笑聲的磅蛋糕6
回收日期:██-██-2012
回收地點:懷俄明州的█████麵包店
目前狀態:儲存於Site-17的冷藏庫

項目描述:一塊人手和一部分前臂的石板雕刻,直立時高約0.5米,重約50公斤。項目的方向不能改變,並如完美的指南針運作 — 拇指總是指向磁北。
回收日期:██-██-2012
回收地點:對Marshall, Carter & Dark有限公司位於英國倫敦的倉庫的突襲中。
目前狀態:於Sector-25的員工花園。
注:附隨的回收文件表明MC&D在為項目尋找買家上有困難。

項目描述:一台235公斤的█████ █████牌輕型摩托車。當以超過30公里/小時的速度行進時,會表現出與明顯有較高質量的物件吻合的慣性特質,一般處於350至600公斤之間,取決於速度。
回收日期:██-██-1999
回收地點:德國,████████
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一塊大白板。當對象在白板上寫下問題,它會立即形成一個整理了有關該問題的資料的圖表。然後項目會在資料間產生連繫,並試圖找出解決方案。但它也會寫下有關對象的智力和身體外觀的評論。這些幾乎都是貶義的。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:得克薩斯州,█████████
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一台諾基亞的1208手機,不分地點、情況或電話的狀態,任何時候都會正好收到2格訊號。其他功能均與正常手機無異。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:阿斯特拉罕地區,████████村,在[數據刪除]的持有物中發現
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一個紫色壓力球,被擠壓時會導致人物沉思對其最近在生活上的成功與失敗。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:在一個人稱P████ Laymond醫生的精神科醫師的辦公室抽屜裡。
目前狀態:被一隻未拴住的寵物柯基犬撕成碎片。正考慮重組。
注:這東西有必要性嗎?為什麼我們還要把它放在首位?為什麼昨晚Rachel拋棄了我?為什麼??? — 特工R████████

項目描述:一隻擁有有限的類人說話能力的巴吉度獵犬 ——唯一能發音的是字詞「哥們(dude)」,並能以各種口音和聲音語調發出。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:加利福尼亞州,████
目前狀態:保留於Site-33狗舍。

項目描述:一個可追溯到1930年代末期的滾球(skee-ball)街機遊戲7。當從單個框洞中獲得850分或以上,出票機會釋放出該數目的活蟑螂。
回收日期:██-██-1943
回收地點:紐約州,科尼島,████████和兒子遊戲
目前狀態:收容中。

項目描述:一把能夠打開通往任何空曠並未受監控之房間的鑰匙,但有一個隨機的小型哺乳動物頭骨出現在房中並在門被打開時跌出門外的副作用。
回收日期:██-██-2006
回收地點:倫敦,███████
目前狀態:收容中。

項目描述:一台每當在預定時間結束前停止就會突然加速至最高速度(15公里/小時)跑步機 。拔出機器的插頭亦會得到相同結果。
回收日期:██-██-2012
回收地點:韓國,首爾,██████████████保健中心
目前狀態:項目於██-██-2012被發現已損壞,據透露,自它被收容後,很多特工用它鍛煉。項目在修理後不再表現出異常特性,因此轉移到基金會的保健中心。

項目描述:一頂只能被「好好地」戴上的普通棒球帽。任何向側戴或向後戴的嘗試會導致它強行將自己從佩戴者的頭部移除。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:紐約州,███ ████
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一本書籍《編織的原理》。當閱讀到詳細介紹在編織時會遇上的各種問題之章節時,讀者會在下一次嘗試編織時遇上這些問題。問題包括在三維空間中無可能完成的編織類型,導致廣泛的纏結。
回收日期:██-██-2012
回收地點:美國,馬里蘭州,巴爾的摩
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一批350個預先包裝好、只有頭尾片的已切片馬鈴薯麵包。觀看該麵包會導致定向障礙和前庭功能障礙。
回收日期:██-██-2010
回收地點:美國,猶他州,鹽湖城
目前狀態:收容突破期間被切碎。碎片只對11%的測試對象導致輕微的耳鳴。依然於儲藏室。

項目描述:一部1992年副總統競選辯論的VHS錄像。副總統丹·奎爾(Dan Quayle)似乎被替換成一隻棕色鵪鶉(Coturnix ypsilophora),並在錄像中表現出普通的禽類行為。錄像帶中的其他對象並未改變。適用於法庭的影像分析並未發現任何編輯的證據。
回收日期:11-17-2012
回收地點:佛羅里達州,羅德岱堡
目前狀態:處於Q█████博士的辦公室。

項目描述:一隻黃色的「橡皮鴨」洗澡玩具。當對象把項目當成活生生的擬人化鴨子般的向它詳細解釋一個切實的問題時,他們會覺得自己更加理解所說的問題,並經常能馬上想出解決方法。
回收日期:██-██-199█
回收地點:美國,加利福尼亞州,███ ████
目前狀態:陳列於Site-17的辦公大樓,供所有人員使用。

項目描述:一隻會撲滅半徑32.444米範圍以內之火焰的鴻雁(Anser cygnoides)。效果會在上弦月的夜晚擴大至101米。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:蒙古,阿爾泰
目前狀態:處於動物儲藏室。

項目描述:一本閱讀時會根據閱讀的頁數,讓讀者接觸到的所有東西都感覺像某種特定質感的精裝書。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:喬治亞州,卡特斯維爾
目前狀態:在Raye博士的辦公桌。
我喜歡毛茸茸的貓咪那頁。——Raye博士

項目描述:十個皇后神仙魚(Holacanthus ciliaris)的玻璃雕塑,被放入水中時會被賦予生命。雕塑需要普通魚的所有需求,除了氧氣。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:愛爾蘭,██████
目前狀態:保存於Site-17二樓休息室內的水族箱。

项目描述:一个英国卡通片“超级无敌掌门狗”的角色瓷像,在观察中会导致观察者对奶酪有轻微的渴望。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地点:在对Marshall, Carter & Dark拍卖的一次突袭中与SCP-████一同回收。
目前状态:于储藏室。

项目描述:一套雕自白色与粉色大理石的国际象棋。当用于进行游戏(而非在正常处理)时,棋子会转变成对玩家重要的个体外形的人形个体。与王并列的马总会是玩家的外形,无论性别。
回收日期:04-26-19██
回收地点:被发现遗弃在美国纽约州纽约市中央公园的公共棋盘上。
目前状态:于储藏室。

项目描述:约翰·凯奇“4分33秒”的32份印本。当被任意数量的音乐家演奏时,能听到上低音号演奏无调性音乐的声音从每份副本中轻柔传出。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地点:████████高中的乐队室,位于夏威夷州欧胡岛。
目前状态:于储藏室。

项目描述:由明胶制成的人类颅骨仿制品。项目没像每一标准明胶般腐烂。项目于每次十月三十一日播放音乐。所有音乐已被确定与███ ███████ ████乐队在他们于████████ ████动物园的周年音乐会一致。
回收日期:██-██-██11
回收地点:████████ ████动物园露天剧场。
目前状态:于Dr. ███████的桌子上。
注:我对此有些羞愧,但无论如何音乐会是免费的。 -Dr. ███████.

向牧瞄术:咿苯自点,渴已史瞄术塌得认和闻自便乘浙肿羽严钟毒因香铜蛋玩权措物得型视。
茴兽石兼:██-██-20██
茴兽弟典:每帼,依力糯依,知佳歌
牧钱撞矿:载Sait-59得咿各彪谆受荣贵钟。

项目描述:一美人鱼铜像。持续暴露于它会导致强迫性着迷于偷窃哺乳类物件。
回收日期:06-30-1967
回收地点:██的████████
目前状态:以仿制品代替。原品位于储藏室。

Beskrivning av föremål:

项目描述:单词[已编辑],定义为“筛的反面”的9个英文字母长的虚构词汇。定义会在读到或听到该单词时被立即明白。在任一给定时间,仅有一个被书写的单词实例会存在;虽然该词汇约以1808 km/s转移,原先的实例会在新的实例被书写时被抹除。该词被报告在发音时感觉很自然且流畅,因而有潜在的可能容易被不明独立团体创造或写下。否则它是平凡的。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地点:Site-18资料库,词汇产生与检验子程序
目前狀態:被寫在一張存放於Site-19的紙上。當不明獨立團體寫出該詞時,幾名研究員中的一名就要為再次寫下該詞而候命。

項目描述:一個由活蘑菇和其他非侵入性真菌樣本組成的冠狀頭飾。幾頭飾放到人類對象頭上會導致對象變得從腰部以上如陀螺儀般穩定。對象會變得無論如何都無法將腰部以上的身體擺出完美垂直以外的姿勢。
回收日期:██-██-1919
回收地點:丹麥,哥本哈根
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一個有著典型結構和材料的傳統巴西撥鈴波琴。當被人類受試者持有時,棍棒會升起敲打弦線,受試者會馬上表現出對如何演奏基本的傳統節奏有本能知識。進一步的接觸似乎沒有獲得更多的知識,但受試者在接觸後仍會保留得到的基本知識。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:巴西,薩爾托
目前狀態:於儲藏室。
注:直到它被完全確定為沒有認知危害,只限由D級人員經手及受試。

項目描述:一串129個字符的字符串。在線上服務的密碼欄位輸入本項目時,不論原來的密碼是什麼,都會被允許登入;唯一已知的例外是字詞「password」。
回收日期:██-██-201█
回收地點:尼日利亞,拉各斯
目前狀態:已歸檔。正在進行對加密和抗效網絡結構的研究。

項目描述:一個藍色的壓力球。被擠壓時,持有人會變得憤怒,而被拋出時,會反彈回來並擊中拋擲者的頭。
回收日期:██-██-19██
回收地點:████,████精神科
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一張標準的███████牌遊戲牌,當被用來玩任何卡牌遊戲時,會顯露出「後面」,向所有其他的玩家顯示卡牌的正面,而對持卡者則只會顯示前述卡牌的背面。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:美國,內華達州,███ █████
目前狀態:保管於Site ██娛樂休息室。

項目描述:一張以不明黑色物質製造的信用卡。透過磁條讀取器使用此卡進行的購買能追溯到是收取自1993年10月、來自墨西哥銀行的賬號██████.██。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:埃及,開羅,胡夫金字塔的密室
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一台1994年的紅色豐田凱美瑞(Camry),不論電台、是否已插入盒式磁帶、甚至連收音機本身也被更換過三次,其收音機都只能播放Men Without Hats8的「Safety Dance」。
回收日期:██-██-200█
回收地點:喬治亞州,亞特蘭大
目前狀態:在一次異常的收容突破期間被粉碎和熔化。殘渣均未表現出異常特性。

項目描述:一台會對所有試圖為其構想一段描述的人產生認知危害效果的高科技打字機。儘管是一台打字機,它總是被描述為一台各種特性、收容地點等等被替換成類似和打字機相關之特性的打字機。動詞「to shoot(射擊)」以及其同源詞不受影響,亦為此項目的特性。試圖拍攝項目會被心理因素的影響所阻礙,而試圖描繪或繪畫項目結果會是一台打字機的圖畫。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:一個屬於已停止活動、被稱為[刪除]的相關組織的廢棄打印設備研究基地
目前狀態:儲存於Site ███打印設備室。正在嘗試生產此打字機的複製品。
注:這台打字機太棒啦!容易射擊,非常精準,優秀的射擊距離,重量輕巧,支持不同按鍵,還有個 60 盒式托盤。打字機械可以拆卸,可使用.45ACP9和5.5610版本。它的異常效應想必是開發來妨礙情報工作吧。——特工Cora

項目描述:一把設計成用齒輪發射橡皮筋的木製玩具步槍。橡皮筋一離開步槍的槍管就會加速到光速的 1/540。
回收日期:10-15-2010
回收地點:弗吉尼亞州,弗農山
目前狀態:於異常武器倉庫中。

項目描述:一台在聯網已啟用時無法連接到任何網絡的電腦,但能在任何地方無視光速及其他物理限制地與正好為161.24 kbps的互聯網獲得通信。
回收日期:██-██-2011
回收地點:葡萄牙,██████
目前狀態:目前用於保持與████████的通信。

項目描述:一尊雕像的玻璃碎片,原本是構成一個非歐幾里得結構。
回收日期:██-██-2013
回收地點:███████,████
目前狀態:於儲藏室。
注:我在找到它時就已經碎了。— 特工Green

項目描述:一張狗的繪畫,當被文盲觀看時,會教他們如何讀寫拉脫維亞語。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:██,██████████
目前狀態:於Site-██第1級文件儲藏室中。

項目描述:一棵不能拆卸的聖誕樹。
回收日期:25-12-2013
回收地點:原位置不明,第二位置是通往Site-14的入口隧道附近。
目前狀態:存放於Site-14休息室作聖誕節裝飾之用。

項目描述:一個杯墊。當被置於任何水平面上,會留下一個直徑為6.3厘米的圓形水跡。項目留下的水跡已被證明非常難以清除。
回收日期:09-18-1995
回收地點:田納西州,加特林堡,██████ ████████酒廠
目前狀態:在不明情況下意外破壞。

項目描述:一把裝有皮卡汀尼導軌的.50 AE口徑Mark XIX以色列軍事工業製沙漠之鷹。當被拿起時,會在持有者周邊視覺的右下方顯示彈藥計數器,並在射擊時根據被命中的目標顯示以5為基數的得分。
回收日期:██-██-██
回收地點:美國,佛羅里達州,███████
目前狀態:儲存在Site-19低價值物品儲藏室中。
注:雖然聽起來很酷,但彈藥計數器讓你很難集中注意力,它會在你試著射擊時分散你的注意力,而且幾乎沒有用,因為你只能勉強辨別出數字。評分系統需要在紙上計算,而且當你需要解讀每次射擊的得分時,並沒有一個簡單記錄數目的方法。把這東西放到遠離可用武器的地方。——特工Harrelson

項目描述:一個███████牌口香糖包裝,內有6片已咀嚼過的口香糖。當被咀嚼時,會恢復為「未咀嚼」的形態。再咀嚼過的口香糖不具備此特性。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:加拿大,████ ██████
目前狀態:保管於Site-██ 中。
我們是怎樣發現它會那樣的?——██████博士

項目描述:一個鈴鼓,搖動時會產生結他的聲音。員工宣稱非常很喜歡。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:英格蘭,██████
目前狀態:保管於Site-19休息室。

項目描述:一雙粉藍色(baby blue)拳擊手套。若該拳擊手套被用來拳擊嬰兒的下巴,該嬰兒會在接下來的24小時內長出所有恆齒。
回收日期:08-10-20██
回收地點:蘇格蘭,格拉斯哥
目前狀態:存放於Site-17收容儲物櫃。

項目描述:一幅於四世紀的中歐拼裝的羅馬馬賽克,描繪了一隻類似劍龍的生物。除了時代不合外,並無其他異常。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:意大利,西西里島,卡薩爾的古羅馬別墅
目前狀態:於Site-77的歷史異常側翼展出。

項目描述:一個木排笛。吹奏時會有一把不明男性的聲音用吹奏者的母語說有關音樂的雙關語。
回收日期:██-██-1991
回收地點:希臘,薩洛尼卡,████樂器店
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一輛紅色的███████牌汽車。汽車據報會在經過的地方留下一道火焰的痕跡。它亦能加速至每小時████公里。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:█████家的車庫
目前狀態:不明。最後一次被看到是由Gerald博士駕駛。

項目描述:一頂黑色大禮帽。佩戴時,任何佩戴者製造的聲音會被替換成用不明男子的嗓音根據該聲音說出的一個擬聲詞(例如,打噴嚏的聲音會被替換作字詞「阿─嚏(sneeze)」)。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:███████,███████
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一個用白色油漆標上「WORMS」的罐頭。打開蓋子會露出正下方的另一個蓋子。分析得出結論為可能有理論上無限序列的蓋子。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:西弗吉尼亞州,███████
目前狀態:存放於異常項目收容儲物櫃。

項目描述:一盒████████牌香煙。吸食時,對象只能以歌劇風格的嗓音溝通,效果會持續8至15分鐘。
回收日期:██-██-2004
回收地點:亞利桑那州,鳳凰城
目前狀態:收容後的一個月被Site-22員工消耗了若干。餘下的於儲藏室。
注:那樣超好玩的。要是基金會遇到可靠來源,就該把它們放到休息室的自動販賣機裡。
— 特工██████

項目描述:一輛紅色的2011阿爾法•羅密歐159(Alfa Romeo 159)。當坐在駕駛座時,司機會自發地忘記如何使用手動變速器。他們一走出該車輛就會取回此知識。(應注意此車輛配有手動變速器。)
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:波蘭,█████████
目前狀態:於儲藏室,等候修理燒壞的離合器。

項目描述:一張羊群的黑白圖片,會導致半徑 5 米範圍內的人類感覺到自己正被觀察。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:███ ██████
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一台Triumph Adler TA-1600牌的電腦。被激活時,所有周邊設備會變成陳年的貝洛克修道院奶酪(Abbaye de Belloc cheese)。
回收日期:11-██-2012
回收地點:加拿大,亞崗昆學院
目前狀態:存放於Site-██休息室。

項目描述:一幅手指畫,畫有一個在3厘米的圓形裡面的 7 厘米的正方形。
回收日期:12-02-20██
回收地點:基督教阿德勒小學(Christian Addler Elementary School)
目前狀態:進行測試中。
注:我知道尺子不會說謊,但我的腦袋就是不想相信。我想我們做得對。——特工Morris

項目描述:一個被分離的Crocodylus porosus(鹹水鱷)頭部,其不會經歷分解或腐蝕。當在物理上接觸或持有時,頭部會獲得生命跡象,並噬咬其持有人,然後回到其靜置狀態。項目在被損壞時,會在一瞬間再生。
回收日期:██-██-2014
回收地點:內華達州,拉斯維加斯
目前狀態:冷藏中。

項目描述:一顆藍色M&M's巧克力糖,被置於平坦表面時會開始旋轉,速轉加快至約65轉/秒,此時它會立即停在原地,直到被拾起並放回去。
回收日期:02-24-2014
回收地點:美國,科羅拉多州,雪松泉(Cedar Springs)
目前狀態:失蹤。

項目描述:一14盎司玻璃瓶的新開封███████牌番茄醬。內容物被認為即使用力拍打搖晃,仍不可能被提取。
回收日期:04-15-20██
回收地點:墨西哥,聖胡安
目前狀態:在一次Site-22食堂中未授權的提取嘗試中被打碎。儘管嚴重碎裂,內容物仍未能從玻璃瓶分離。碎片和殘餘物被移送到Site-59的標準收容儲物櫃。

項目描述:一面在其表面上反映的影像會比平常的鏡子慢約3.86秒的鏡子,導致在觀察反映時顯著的「延遲」。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:烏克蘭,██████████
目前狀態:於Site-73進行測試。研究表明在被鏡子反射的光子速率並無可觀察到的變化。

項目描述:一個未知聚合物製的玩具火箭,能超過逃出地球的引力所需的速度。項目引起了基金會的興趣,並進行測試。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:████/█████邊境
目前狀態:目前位於地球軌道的熱層中。

項目描述:一片瑞典電影「█████████的████ ██████」(19██)的盜版VHS拷貝。每次觀看時,所有角色的性別和種族均會隨機改變。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:關島,████████
目前狀態:Site-19休息室。「演技差勁,情節無聊。」目前於儲藏室。

項目描述:一台█████牌小型調頻收音機,估計已有██年歷史。當有供電及被設置為任何頻道時,收音機會播放一首在激活者青春期時於青少年間流行的隨機歌曲。此歌曲總會涉及愛情關係,並在 95% 的案例中被描述為與激活者當前的關係狀態非常貼切。在被不在戀愛關係的人激活時,收音時會播放一首被不熟練地翻唱的哈利•尼爾森(Harry Nilsson)單曲「One」的錄音,由一個身份不明的青春期男性伴隨著一系列無調電子鋼琴音符顯著地走調歌唱。
回收日期:██-██-1986
回收地點:伊利諾伊州,███████,███ ██高中
目前狀態:於研究員████的測試後失蹤。

項目描述:一袋███-████牌棉花糖。當棉花糖被個體食用,他們的頭部會被藍色火焰包住。儘管熱度讀數超過了100°C,對象總報告缺乏顯著的改變。
回收日期:██-██-2014
回收地點:蘇格蘭,███████
目前狀態:其餘樣本置於儲藏室。

項目描述:一對烏鴉(Corvus corax),當半徑約一公里範圍內有人死亡時,有時會唱名為兩隻烏鴉(twa corbies)的民謠。
回收日期:06-27-1989
回收地點:不列顛群島,████████
目前狀態:收容於一個標準鳥舍。

項目描述:一對只能被描述為他們的反面的███牌耳機。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:加拿大,█████
目前狀態:於Site-██儲藏室。
注:別想太多。——███████博士

項目描述:一本沒有牌子的黃色筆記本。每一頁都有數條手繪的彩虹。於項目封面可見到字句「凱爾,六歲(KYLE, AGE SIX)」。所有關於上述筆記本的書面文本會改變其顏色以跟從筆記本內之彩虹的顏色樣式。圖案並不遵循真正的彩虹樣式。
回收日期:██/██/██
回收地點: 英國,蘇塞克斯
目前狀態: 於Site-98儲藏室。

項目描述:一個鐵製滾珠軸承(半徑:2厘米),即使在強磁場存在下亦完全缺乏鐵磁性質(測試到 8 特斯拉)。它是唯一已知的anipole實例,即沒有極點(相對於假想磁單極子)的磁鐵。於尋找用於輻射敏感實驗中的低本底鋼時發現;值得注意的是其異常低水平的微量放射性元素。隨後的分析表明它完全是由純鐵組成。
回收日期:██-██-200█
回收地點:美國,阿拉斯加州的███████工廠
目前狀態:保存於Site-11儲藏室的輻射屏蔽裝置中,以維持純度。

項目描述:一個標準「大富翁」棋盤遊戲,遊玩時總會煽動玩家之間爭吵,最終導致其婚姻、夥伴、友誼或其他形式的關係終止或宣告無效。
回收日期:07-03-2001
回收地點:美國,伊利諾伊州,██████家的舊貨出售
目前狀態:於Site-19儲藏室。

項目描述:七包流行的「魔法風雲會(Magic: The Gathering)」集換式卡牌遊戲補充包。打開任一包裝會導致出現一身分不明的男子聲音說「哈!怪咖!」。聲音似乎離打開包裝者有一段距離。
回收日期:██-13-20██
回收地點:████ & ██████漫畫店
目前狀態:只剩下五包補充包。目前存放於Site 23儲藏室。

項目描述:一個前往平行宇宙的可攜式窗戶、2米乘1米的玻璃長方形。另一面是至今抵禦了所有破壞其之嘗試的未被確認的不透明材料。目前,宇宙之間的差異點仍然不明,但似乎在地球各方面上沒有改變。玻璃在功能上可作鏡子之用。
回收日期:██-03-19██
回收地點:英格蘭,████████
目前狀態:已被標記,並用於Site-██更衣室 根據協議ANTI-AN105/76「收容優先」的再設立,於2009年9月6日移送至儲藏室。

項目描述:一塊17克重的橡皮泥,被數目為一以上的人觀察時,會一致認同有太多橡皮泥。此世界觀的延續機制目前未明。只被一人觀看時沒有異常效果。
回收日期:██-12-20██
回收地點:英格蘭,█████████-████-████,██████ █████
目前狀態:保存於Site ██休息室內的一個小塑料袋。

項目描述:一個以語音抱怨自己的枕頭。至今的抱怨為軟度(枕頭在不同時間稱自己「太硬」和「太軟」)、枕頭的物料、枕頭內的物料,以及它談論自己的次數。雖然一直注意到枕頭擁有知覺並能夠對人員作出反應,它唯一討論過的是它自己。
回收日期:██-14-20██
回收地點:█████ Soft公司
目前狀態:於Site 35儲藏室。

項目描述:一塊不會陳化或變壞的雞塊。當頂目的一部分被咬掉,雞塊會再生出被咬掉的部分。切走項目的一部分不會再生。雞塊的「主體」部分會再生出切走部分好像沒有顯示出異常特性。
回收日期:12-31-2013
回收地點:康涅狄格州,████████
目前狀態:存儲於Site-48的冷藏櫃。
注:也許我們可以把它當作是糧食短缺時的無限口糧。——Smith博士

項目描述:一棵白櫟樹(Quercus alba),被對象觀察時,總會被描述為「具有諷刺意味」。受影響的對象無法或不願意進一步說明。
回收日期:05-21-2011
回收地點:加拿大,█████████
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一尊1米高的純金火烈鳥雕像,當出現藍月11時會被賦予生命。當活過來時,它會嘗試飛過天花板,但只會撞上天花板。它會繼續嘗試,直到被制止或藍月結束後的早晨。
回收日期:05-16-████
回收地點:美國,███████動物園
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一個被紅色記號筆寫上了「Jimmyz Teeliscop and Anty-scop」12和點綴了多張星星貼紙的衛生紙筒。當從一側觀看時,衛生紙筒會如望遠鏡運作,但當從另一側觀看時則相反。
回收日期:06-12-████
回收地點:美國,█████████森林
目前狀態:於儲藏室。
注:"我很心疼弄丟了這東西的孩子。"——Richards博士

項目描述:██████-████(██)張紙,向同一方向翻轉兩次時會出現「第三面」。再次翻轉紙張會出現第一面。從第一面逆向翻轉會出現第三面。
回收日期:03-20-████
回收地點:██,████████的████████高中
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一件中碼白色男士襯衫。所有以錄像或攝影擷取項目的嘗試均失敗,因為沖洗後的相片和錄像都猶如襯衫並不存在。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:████████,████
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一尊抽象的青銅雕塑,測量高度為2.11189米。藝術家不明。曝露於項目下會導致對象做出精準測量的能力於之後的9.800419小時大幅高估。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:████████現代藝術館
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一對奶酪刨。若兩者距離不到~6米時,用其中一個來刨的奶酪會從另一個出來。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:華盛頓州,史魁恩,████████路,21號
目前狀態:測試中。

項目描述:一張標準的紙吸管包裝紙,擁有生命和與紅尾蚺一致的行為模式。這包括了緩慢的「滑行」動作及試圖勒緊獵物。基於它的製造物料,它施加非常小的力量,而且不能使人注意地束縛任何東西。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:██████,███ ██████,Moe的路邊燒烤
目前狀態:皺起,推測是意外造成。相信已「死亡」。

項目描述:一個名為HAPYFASES.TTF的字形文件。任何以該字形顯示的文字會顯示成一部12本的未出版耽美戀愛小說「Klingon Steed」的節錄。作者和字形創造者並不認識且無異常表現。可下載文件被替換成受損的假目標。
回收日期:03-06-2009
回收地點:PhreeKrazyFontz.com(網站於16/12/2012倒閉)
目前狀態:安裝於Site 12高級研究員Mary Esposito的工作站。

項目描述:一幅描繪了雪山上的夕陽的油畫。任何觀看該畫作的人類會無法移動(不包括眨眼及其他無意識的動作),直到他們被認為已足夠地「欣賞」該畫作的構圖或被外力強行移動。
回收日期:12-06-200█
回收地點:烏克蘭,████的███████畫廊,在前一天於畫廊自行出現
目前狀態:發生了Gently博士呆住三小時後被保安人員移走的事件後,被存放於永久儲藏室。
注:要是那畫家在表現深度上沒那麼糟糕,也許會能更容易欣賞這幅畫。——Gently博士

項目描述:一個金毛尋回犬的毛絨玩具,外表看起來是廉價製造的。對象形容該毛絨玩具的身體感覺異常逼真。觸摸毛絨玩具的毛被形容為感覺像是狗毛,觸摸嘴巴被形容為感覺到濕潤和有粘性等等。
回收日期:09-21-1992
回收地點:路易斯安那州,███████,██████ ████一元店
目前狀態:於Site 15休息室作為娛樂玩具。

項目描述:一套13件的基本12英吋尺子,受損害時會發出響亮的「尖叫」聲,然後開始離開傷害來源。
回收日期:01-██-20██
回收地點:德克薩斯州,科貝爾的一間廢棄史泰博(Staples)倉庫,以前是一████性崇拜和████ ████的發源地
目前狀態:測試中。

項目描述:也許是一個可能會導致所有有關它的文字變得不確定的咖啡杯。
回收日期:1999左右?
回收地點:佛羅里達州某處
目前狀態:於儲藏室。大概。

項目描述:一個鍍鎳的懷錶。當沒如鐘擺般來回搖擺時會促使觀察者進入輕微的恍惚狀態。
回收日期:06-██-20██
回收地點:開羅的跳蚤市場
目前狀態:異常特性已被壓制,可安全地觀察。
注:有人真的造了個小機器來保持這東西搖擺嗎?我的意思是,做得好,我猜,但認真的,我們可以就把它放到盒子裡。——Micah博士

項目描述:一個附有管狀輪輞(半徑為6.4毫米)的銅箍(半徑為152毫米)。一道寬1.6毫米的凹槽沿內部表面延伸。三條25.4毫米的棒狀磁鐵附加於凹槽內的軌道。磁鐵總是等距的,如果給予任何了動力,就會以不會放慢的穩定速度圍繞銅箍轉動。任何從此系統抽取機械能量的嘗試會導致它突然停止。所有複製品均未能複製原始設備的永恆運動。
回收日期:08-08-1968
回收地點:內華達州,拉斯維加斯,發明家大會
目前狀態:Site-19,工程研究實驗室

項目描述:一疊128 127 約 124張的A4打印紙,印有各種內容,紙張的具體數量仍未確定。每次點算該疊紙,1 1至3小量紙張(確切數目未確定,懷疑是隨機的)會消失。
回收日期:05-11-2010
回收地點:中國,上海,[刪除]大廈。原來的紙疊相信包含超過400張紙。
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一張10x10厘米的白色卡片,帶有兩個大小相同的黑點。不論卡片被怎樣轉動,黑點仍保持沿著地球赤道方向彼此相鄰。異常未能在卡片並非大致平行於地面時體現。
回收日期:12-11-████
回收地點:██PD法證實驗室,從死者John Doe取得
目前狀態:以薄片護層保護,保存於儲藏室。

項目描述:一個不受任何引力影響的塑料牛奶壺。已發現牛奶沒有異常特性。
回收日期:01-12-2015
回收地點:阿根廷,███-█████,████████回收中心
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一塊具有範圍達幾米的心靈感應能力的石頭。多是反覆思考它有多無聊。似乎只能單向溝通。
回收日期:09-01-████
回收地點:於異常事件現場的調查期間由機動特遣隊 Psi-8(「The Silencers」)發現。判定沒有更大可辨識的異常。
目前狀態:於儲藏室。
注:花了幾小時來找出哪塊石頭是異常的。我的膝蓋好痛。——特工█████

項目描述:一頭外觀靜止並向下移了~.25米的豬。效果是單純在視覺上的。影像在效果開始時就如此。根據報告,效果是瞬間發生的。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:████,██████的養豬場
目前狀態:被初級研究員Barem當作寵物保留於Site-██。

項目描述:一隻粘土罐子中的木乃伊人腳。被認為可追溯到埃及第十八王朝。異常出於在基因測試上與一個現代加利福尼亞州居民Daniel Eichtue-Heau的腳符合,而該人現在有兩雙腳。Eichtue-Heau目前受到監視。
回收日期:06-13-20██
回收地點:於埃及女神瑪亞特(Ma’at)的神殿遺跡中發現。
目前狀態:於儲藏室。
更新:Eichtue-Heau的左腳於02-21-20██的一場工業意外中切斷。腳被基金會人員扣押。發現與木乃伊的腳共享許多特徵,被保存於冷藏庫。

項目描述:一隻高約0.7米的半熟水煮蛋。外殼為棕黃色,並有綠色點。DNA測試尚無定論。
回收日期:12-11-████
回收地點:於南美一間非法經營的異國料理專門餐廳回收。菜單上的其他菜餚包括雪豹、黑猩猩、長毛象、人類,和SCP-███。報告指已有兩隻這樣的蛋被賣出,而最後一隻是為一有錢中國股票經紀保留。該蛋預計售價為$█,███,███。
目前狀態:測試中。

項目描述:一幅傑克羅素㹴的印刷圖像,總會愚弄觀察者,令他們相信自己正在看一隻同品種的活狗。效果能以間接地觀察圖像來避免,例如通過鏡子或相機。
回收日期:09-04-████
回收地點:新奧爾良的寵物展
目前狀態:保存於Site-██犬舍。 保存於Site-██認知危害文件儲藏室。

項目描述:一把形似15厘米長微型双刃大砍刀的開信刀。物料為常見的低檔不銹鋼,手柄為塗漆橡木。物料樣本無呈現異常特性。
任何被打開的信封之內容物會轉變為一首內容相應的詩。
任務報告被轉換成的種類上至維京傳奇故事下至類似第一次世界大戰戰爭詩人的詩,而文書內容通常會轉換成達達主義或荒謬主義的詩(尤其是██████的會計部門作出的所有信件)。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:████,████████
目前狀態:保存於Site ████儲藏室。在A至C級人員向████████博士提出書面申請後通常准許訪問。

項目描述:一張twin尺寸13床墊。在床墊上睡覺的對象均會做夢夢見自己被迫用一根叉子和菜刀來食用一隻活海象。對象在夢中成功與否似乎是無關緊要的。
回收日期:14-06-1983
回收地點:英格蘭,███████的家具店
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一盒24枝的Crayola牌色鉛筆,特點為有3枝鉛筆的顏色在自然界中並不存在。列在盒上且與每枝對應鉛筆上的為「moiter」、「emilet」和「cankri」。這些鉛筆如預期般作用。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:從位於加拿大,███████的瑪娜慈善基金會機構處回收。
目前狀態:於儲藏室。
注:有可能是模因之類的。我看著它們時會有偏頭痛。但很漂亮。——研究員████████

項目描述:一把.338口徑的精密國際AWM狙擊步槍1:1複製品,配有兩腳架、瞄準鏡、彈匣和由多種異常耐久的食用物質(一明顯部分為巧克力蛋糕)構成的內部機械。儘管其組成如此,項目擁有槍械所有的功能,能夠上膛和射出.338拉普麥格農子彈。
回收日期:07-16-2000
回收地點:英格蘭,薩默塞特郡,桑福德
目前狀態:於儲藏室。

項目描述:一輛完全由紙屑構成的行駛中的汽車。沒有發現引擎。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:得克薩斯州,████████
目前狀態:與其他多種非危險車輛保存於Site-██的車庫。

項目描述:一組精確的短語「█████████████」,當在任何網站用作用戶名時。用此名字的帳號不能被禁用或刪除,其上載或發布的內容亦不能被移除,在嘗試如此做時會因自然發生的電腦錯誤失敗。
回收日期:██-██-2007
回收地點:不適用。第一例於社交媒體網站Reddit確認。
目前狀態:用此用戶名的██個已知帳號之操作者已被找到且被消除記憶以防止這些帳號的使用。基金會已盡可能地在其他網站上以此用戶名註冊。

項目描述:一個沒有製造商標識符的標準硬幣清點罐。罐子使用一節AAA電池,並且如預期般運作,正確點算放入的硬幣總價值。然而,所有放入的硬幣會變成同等價值的一美分(例如放入一枚10分硬幣會變成10枚一美分)。從外表上看罐子似乎裝滿一美分硬幣。若蓋子被移途,硬幣能如常移出,但在罐子內仍會呈現為一美分硬幣。
回收日期:11-11-2011
回收地點:佛羅里達州,███ █████的一家沃爾格林商店
目前狀態:於█████博士的辦公桌上。

項目描述:一疊364張的定制信紙。每張頂部寫有「給Bertrand Bartleby的信息」。當被對折時,信紙會自行以本世紀初的倫敦之常用術語和俚語寫上名字、外貌描述以及按時間順序記錄所有接近該折疊紙張的人的動作。
回收日期:02-15-2015
回收地點:英格蘭,倫敦,傳教士街,412號
目前狀態:失蹤。
注:於 06-20-2015,除了其中一張,其他信紙均被報告從儲藏室中失蹤。餘下的一張被對折並留在空的儲物櫃中。

項目描述:一輛██████████牌山地自行車,被騎上時,即使是在封閉的建築內,總會有隨機風速為█米/秒至███米/秒的逆風。
回收日期:██-██-2014
回收地點:丹麥,███████
目前狀態:正研究風力發電的可能性。

項目描述:一台█████牌數碼相機。拍攝照片時,拍攝的照片會呈現於曝光前約4.5秒的照片場景。拍攝短於4.5秒的錄像亦受影響。
回收日期:04-10-20██
回收地點:德國,██████████的██████攝影
目前狀態:於B█████博士的辦公室。

項目描述:一個█████控制台的控制器,會促使持有它的人寫入/輸入「1337」,这是一种用ASCII码和其它字符来代替大多数字母的“语言”。
回收日期:04-15-20██
回收地點:美國,伊利諾伊州,█████████████
目前狀態:於Albae博士的私人儲物櫃。

項目描述:一隻模仿各種人類舉止並講一口帶有英國口音的流利英語的蝎子。
回收日期:01-28-2010
回收地點:美國,得克薩斯州,██████
目前狀態:收容於Site ██中,內置加熱燈的標準飼養箱內。
注:他似乎很喜歡喝茶,雖然正常的蝎子是完全肉食性的。——Henry博士

項目描述:一根類似鷹科(鷹、鵰,及禿鷲)的不明種科尾羽的正羽。羽毛為棕色且帶有白色條紋,似乎是從主人身上自然脫落,測量長4米,寬1米。
回收日期:09-14-2011
回收地點:哈薩克斯坦,阿斯塔納以西約500公里的乾草原
目前狀態:於儲藏室。
注:所以我們有隻巨大的蛋和根巨大的羽毛在儲藏室。那隻巨鳥在哪?還有為什麼沒有人知道牠?——R. Argent博士

項目描述:一條沒有牌子的安卓設備數據線。當被連接到兼容的設備時,即使數據線沒有連接上可見電源,該設備仍會自行充電。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:被當作「推廣資料」,通過███寄送到Site-██,回郵地址目前正被基金會特工監控。
目前狀態:保存於Site-██儲藏室供員工使用。

項目描述:12枝羽毛筆,當被置於合適的鹹水環境中會活過來並表現如海鰓(Pennatulacea)般。當從水中取出,它會回復到原始狀態。項目因一份有關活筆的報告而被發現。
回收日期:08-23-2015
回收地點:聖地亞哥,████████內的一個小蓄水池
目前狀態:放置於██████博士房間內的水族箱。

項目描述:一套由████ █████製造及銷售的22件裝商業建築電工工具箱。任何嘗試不直視它地從箱中取出任一工具會導致該工具瞬間傳送到幾米外的隨機位置。經過5次嘗試拿取工具後,工具箱中所有的工具會傳送到一個能讓它們自行排成一個類似「;)」表情符號的位置。
回收日期:04-18-2013
回收地點:Containment Area-████的施工現場
目前狀態:Site-45的低優先級收容側翼。

項目描述:一本每頁均寫有字句「不要罵咒(Do not swaer)」[原文如此]的拍紙本。每當項目被寫上什麼內容,文中所有咒罵的言辭都會自動更改成一個類似的字。
回收日期:09-08-2015
回收地點:澳洲,██████████的██████████學校的一間教室
目前狀態:保存於研究員██████房間內的紙匣。

項目描述:一雙未知物料製的黑色男裝手套。當項目被穿戴上並拳打一有生命的生物或無生命的物體,形容發出之聲音的大字會在穿戴者的1米範圍內出現1.7秒。
回收日期:09-08-2015
回收地點:美國,華盛頓州,瓦拉瓦拉的一間道具店
目前狀態:於███████博士的辦公室陳列櫃。

項目描述:一個削鉛筆器,會給插入之鉛筆補回木層,直到難以察覺它與原來未削尖的形態之分別。
回收日期:██-11-2015
回收地點:████████非洲,██████████的一間教室
目前狀態:於員工儲物櫃以供鉛筆再利用。於███████博士辦公室內上鎖的箱子中。

項目描述:一桶1加侖裝的Ben and Jerry's香草冰淇淋。無論周圍的溫度如何,冰淇淋本身一直保持在12°C。進食冰淇淋會導致味道改變為隨機一種現有的冰淇淋口味。然而,進食會自動觸發「冰淇淋頭痛14」。冰淇淋被消耗後不會再生。
回收日期:03-14-19██
回收地點:███████'s冷凍商品
目前狀態:Area 23冷藏庫。已被消耗。

項目描述:一個人類頭骨,被持有時會導致持有人帶著頭骨在房間內四處走動,演繹威廉•莎士比亞的戲劇「哈姆雷特」。結束後,持有人會把頭骨放回原來位置,其恢復正常。被問問題時,對象通常會以劇中對白回應。
回收日期:09-14-2002
回收地點:英格蘭,倫敦的一家劇院(drama hall)
目前狀態:於Moreau博士辦公室的上鎖陳列櫃內。

項目描述:一條雄性青鯊(Prionace glauca),會在空中游泳,就如牠在水中一樣。
回收日期:11-16-2013
回收地點:佛羅里達州,邁阿密
目前狀態:Site-B14的站內飼養箱。
注:會吃正常鯊魚吃的所以東西,但似乎更喜歡狗食。——Uhlman博士

項目描述:一頂大禮帽,當被人類佩戴並被一隻或以上企鵝觀看,會在佩戴者身上施加一種力量,令他們以每觀察者1米/秒2(1 m/s2 per observer)的速率向上加速。一般情況下,克服重力需要10個或以上的觀察者。
回收日期:██-██-20██
回收地點:██,██,██████動物園
目前狀態:Site-37儲藏側翼。

項目描述:一塊不能被推倒的雙六骨牌。當以大量力量推動,它會以相近的力量將推動它的物體推倒。如果一個人類推它,它會使推動骨牌的手指向下彎曲。
回收日期:03-28-1996
回收地點:馬薩諸塞州,波士頓
目前狀態:靠牆擺放於Site-4的儲藏室。

項目描述:一盤題為「The Best of Queen」的盒式磁帶。在沒有觀察下時被靠近其他盒式磁帶,項目會將該盒式磁帶徹底改變成自己的精確副本。
回收日期:09-20-1982
回收地點:特工██████的汽車地板
目前狀態:Site-88的音樂側翼。

項目描述:一個在設定好的時間會發出像是擁有者最早的母性形象之聲音的灰色鬧鐘。
回收日期:10-28-2015
回收地點:紐約州,伊薩卡
目前狀態:保存於儲藏室。被特工███████破壞。特工被懲戒。

項目描述:外觀是標準25美分硬幣。當被擲起時,有33%機會擲出通常不可見的第三面。第三面有與特別州份25美分紀念幣之外觀和規格相似的雕刻,但描繪了一個不存在的州份。被描繪的州份稱為「新克勞德州(New Caulde)」,根據硬幣描述建立於1919年。雕刻描繪了在一棵藝術效果化的樹上面的一個錘子和一顆釘子。
回收日期:03-10-1989
回收地點:內華達州,拉斯維加斯
目前狀態:於儲藏室。測試必須經Cox博士批准。

項目描述:一張有直徑約20厘米圓形區域的桌子,無論周圍溫度如何均保持在37°C。
回收日期:██-██-████
回收地點:美國,喬治亞州,亞特蘭大
目前狀態:於Site-19休息室供員工使用(移至儲藏室的請求有待處理)

項目描述:一棵相對較小的楓樹,表現出與當前季節相反的影響。除了基於其異常而無法進行足夠光合作用外,其健康沒有受到不良影響。
回收日期:07-21-1984
回收地點:█████的一個公園
目前狀態:轉移到Site-██的戶外隔間。項目在轉移後保持異常特性。

項目描述:一個複雜的儀式,被正確執行時會導致一份辣香腸比薩顯現。儀式原來被寫在當地一家比薩店的一份大辣香腸比薩收據上。
回收日期:11-16-1993
回收地點:亞利桑那州,鳳凰城
目前狀態:原始收據保存於Site-17低安全性文件櫃。
注:對比薩店的調查顯示沒有其他異常活動跡象。

項目描述:一群互相看不見對方的小火烈鳥(Phoenicopterus minor),回收時數量為1441只。育種將培育出同樣性質的後代。
回收日期: 04-18-1952
回收地點:██████████,納米比亞
目前狀態:所有已知個體死亡,尸體無異常現象,已被焚燒。

項目描述:一只活潑的鬣蜥,全身由植物組織組成。因未找到該種類的雌性鬣蜥,該生物無法培育後代。食物為昆蟲。
回收日期: 04-12-1983
回收地點: 在███████下的下水道
目前狀態: 在正常年齡死亡,遺傳信息儲存於Site-██。

項目描述:一件磨損的鏢靶,不會被任何玩家打中,無論熟練水平如何。雖未擊中,使用者會相信自己命中靶心並誇耀自己的熟練4到110分鐘。
回收日期:09-27-1963
回收地點:愛爾蘭,科克的一家酒吧
目前狀態:於Site-77的儲藏室

项目描述:一只家猪外形小型玩具,有一对可以随意活动的翅膀。该项目表现与生物学上同类物种大致相同,除以飞行作为主要运动方式外。
回收日期:05/10/2001
回收地点:得克萨斯州,休斯顿
目前状态:收容于Site-18储藏室中。

项目描述:一根沾了巧克力的燕麦棒,在被消耗时,似乎会使缺失的部分从棒的一端重新长出。
回收日期:02-17-2015
回收地点:安大略省,███████
目前状态:储藏于Site-██的自助餐厅。无趣的是,异常效果仍未失效。
注:研究人员和他们的脑子。总想知道更多……在中途把我该死的巧克力棒弄碎了。- 特工█████

项目描述:一个硬纸板箱。所有关于该项目的实物文件将自动移入盒内。
回收日期: 01/01/2016
回收地点:美国,佐治亚州,████
目前状态:于储藏室。
另:尝试保留全音频记录致使录音设备移入盒内。

项目描述:一条使全部用于测试它的媒介(图像,txt文档,.mp3文件,蚂蚁基因组,AIAD,[已编辑])会转化它生成对于对一紫色花朵的相同描述或图像的信息。
回收日期:2016/04/02
回收地点:雷击之后[已编辑]所持有的数码相机
目前状态:收容于异常数据收容室Drive-14。

项目描述:一张使在上面写下的词语隔词转换成粗鄙之语的纸。
回收日期:01/24/19██
回收地点:████████高中
目前状态:收容于Site-██储藏柜。
我他妈不去它的是什么狗日玩意。我正在这狗屎上日他娘好。 Dr.████

条目描绘:一本在精通过后致使读者必须运用毫无必要的曲折同义词进行沟通的辞典。周期性的同义词阻止了预先的定义。
取回时机:13-02-19██ A.D.
取回地址:罗马尼亚,██████图书馆
当前状态:库存中
注释:与我一同辛勤的人力资源现必须使用字典以与我单独交流。 - Dr. M██████

项目描述:一个在被描述时会将██它的描述的随机字词转换成Unicode██中被称为‘’(█)的VHS播放器████。除此之外███播放器自身未被观察到展示█异常██。
回收██:09-04-2015
回收地点:巴西,圣保罗
目前状态:收容于████-18的███████。

项目描述:一条普通金鱼(Carassius auratus),从其物种而言在基因上均在正常参数内。它毫不异常。
注:Dr. Serion在无O5许可时不再允许编辑此文档。
项目描述:一条偶尔会在自发重组前爆炸的普通金鱼(Carassius auratus)。爆炸能有效击碎水缸玻璃并已致10人死亡。
回收日期:02-05-2016
回收地点:美国,纽约,Dr. Serion的家
目前状态:放在Site-24的2级测试实验室的塑料碗内。一天喂两次。

项目描述:一只尝试挖出靠近其六(6)米内的人的眼睛的塑料幼童用汤匙。
回收日期:██-██-2016
回收地点:科罗拉多州,████ ███████
目前状态:于储藏室
注:汤匙不够尖锐也不够沉重来造成实际的伤害,只是轻微的不适。推荐任何处理它的人使用护目镜。████

Item Description: A standard MPK5 SMG. When fired, it instead emits a high-pitched voice that attempts to mimic the expected sound of the weapon firing.
Date of Recovery: 09-18-2012
Location of Recovery: Lynchwood, ███ ████
Current Status: In storage; pending destruction

Item Description: A 2kg block of gorgonzola cheese, which will continuously emit 1970s disco-funk at 65dB when within 12m of any male with a moustache.
Date of Recovery: 01-01-2000
Location of Recovery: AltMod Discoteque, Antwerp, Belgium
Current Status: In storage at all-female Site 12

Item Description: A 20cm x 20cm x 20cm wooden block that casts a shadow shaped like a common house cat.
Date of Recovery: 02-03-2016
Location of Recovery:Lisbon, Portugal
Current Status: Dr. ████████'s office

Item Description: A Slinky able to turn corners.
Date of Recovery: 01-03-2016
Location of Recovery: Toronto, Canada
Current Status: Undergoing testing in CN Tower stairwell
Notes: Also crosses short landings, up to 1.4m, as long as there are more stairs.

Item Description: A human brain in a mobile vat of nutrients, equipped with camera and speech synthesizer. It claims to be Zargox Quaglofan, 23rd century secret agent on a temporal mission to prevent the rise of the Insectoid Empire in 1976.
Date of Recovery: 09-23-2011
Location of Recovery: A crater at Site 136
Current Status: Head of Records, Site 136
Notes: It appears to be delusional, but it's a very good file clerk. - Dr. Danger

Item Description: A titanium spork. Any food eaten with this utensil will be perceived to be slightly less spicy than the maximum the eater is readily capable of tolerating. No chemical changes to the food, or physiological changes to the user are noted, this item only affects perception.
Date of Recovery: 04-16-2016
Location of Recovery: The Site 88 cafeteria.
Current Status: In the Site 88 general storage wing, small item storage locker.
Notes: Correction — It's supposed to be in the storage locker, but keeps ending up back in the cafeteria utensil rack. I better not catch whoever keeps doing this. - Dr. Rachasthani

Item Description: A toilet. Any animal that comes into contact with the toilet will burst into laughter even if they don't have the vocal cords to do so.
Date of Recovery: 02-12-2005
Location of Recovery: The Site-66 bathroom.
Current Status: Broken after Dr. █████ dropped item during transport to Site-66 Storage Room.

Item Description: A white sock that whenever worn, turns out to be inside out, completely independent from how to sock was actually put on.
Date of Recovery: 01-04-2002
Location of Recovery: Originally in possession of Agent ██████
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A brown paper grocery bag. When placed on the head of a human being, the wearer's face cannot be revealed in any way other than removing the bag on their own. Any other attempts will remove the bag, only to reveal another bag underneath, still covering the head of the wearer. Removed copies no longer display anomalous effect. Attempts to cut holes in the bag have failed. Deceased subjects do not seem to trigger anomalous effect in the object.
Date of Recovery: 04-13-2009
Location of Recovery: A ████████ Supermarket location in ██████, ██, in employee break room.
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A retractable pen with a spring-based clicker. In addition to the two states such a pen would normally have (retracted and extended), there exists a 'third' state where the pen tip appears to retract and extend again; when attempting to write in this third state, the pen will start making a continuous, bass-heavy noise as it makes contact with the writing surface. Disassembly of the pen has revealed no origin as to the source of the sound; the anomalous effect only functions when the pen is completely reassembled.
Date of Recovery: 08-16-2015
Location of Recovery: ███████████ High School, █████ USA
Current Status: In storage, Site-23

Item Description: A copper fountain in a public space outside [REDACTED]. During the daytime, the fountain does not display any anomalous properties; however, at any point in the night after 22:30 when the fountain is not being observed, all coins at the bottom of the fountain will inexplicably disappear. Inexplicably, this will only occur if there are at least 1945cm3 of water in the fountain.
Date of Recovery: 16-02-20██
Location of Recovery: ██████, Czech Republic
Current Status: Disassembled in a Foundation-owned warehouse.
Notes: The groundskeeper at the location of recovery was aware of the fountain's anomalous property, but didn't report it because 'it made his job easier'. I sympathize, but still, with the length of time he's been exposed to the anomaly, I'd recommend a Class-E amnestic for him. - Agent █████

I'll look into clearing it with the Ethics Committee. And as for the people telling me this should receive full SCP status - it's a fountain that eats your coins. Nothing more. - Dr. Ryken

Item Description: A silver wristwatch which, when laid on any surface, will soft boil an egg placed on it. No other anomalous properties recorded.
Date of Recovery: 05-03-20██
Location of Recovery: ██████████, New Mexico.
Current Status: In the possession of Dr. Michael ███████ for personal use.
Notes: This is absolutely useless; however, it does make preparing lunch at work easier as I don't have to wait to use the stove in the kitchen. No, you can't have it, it's mine! - Dr. Michael ███████

Item Description: An open case of 20 tubes of hair gel. Application of the hair gel to the scalp of any primate will cause hair to grow, recede, or change length until the primate's hair resembles a 1980s style mullet.
Date of Recovery: 08-12-2016
Location of Recovery: Basement of █████ Barber Shop, Waxahachie, TX
Current Status: In Site-17 storage.
Notes: Product appears to be mislabeled. All packaging indicates the product will give the user a 1950s pompadour.

Item Description: A large conch seashell, 30 cm in length. When the opening is held to a human ear, a dial tone is produced from within the shell. No method of dialing the item (if such is possible) has yet been determined.
Date of Recovery: 04-05-2012
Location of Recovery: Obtained from the seashore of Mindil Beach, Australia.
Current Status: Functioning as an aquarium decoration in Site-82.

Item Description: A wireless black PlayStation 4 controller that will connect to Nintendo 64 entertainment consoles and nothing else. Tests have shown that all internals of the controller are unmodified and correctly programmed yet there is still no understanding of how N64s receive the signal broadcasted by the controller.
Date of Recovery: 01-24-2016
Location of Recovery: Obtained from a house in █████████, California
Current Status: In storage. Request for transfer to Area 43 break room pending.

Item Description: A mundane hockey puck. Slides across all surfaces it is placed on, with no observable friction.
Date of Recovery: 03-04-2016
Location of Recovery: Surrendered by the ice hockey club of Darwin, Australia.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A coverless book with 50 pages, when opened it will display pages from different parts of different novels and books, there are no set patterns to what pages that appears in it. The pages will randomize again if book is closed and reopened.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-1988
Location of Recovery: On a bookshelf in a public library located in ████████, Hong Kong.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A small white dresser. Upper drawer contains different assortment of items each time it is opened, usually consistent with mundane drawer clutter. Any items placed inside are no longer present when the drawer is closed and reopened. The lower drawer similarly shifts contents, but instead is always uniformly filled with a single substance or collection of identical objects; previously observed examples include shale gravel, pine pitch, unmarked gold ingots, 1985 US pennies with identical scratches and surface features, 150 chrome steel objects of uncertain function, Bing cherries, and crushed woodwind reeds.
Date of Recovery: 10-14-2003
Location of Recovery: ███████, █████, during a raid on a known Marshall, Carter, and Dark warehouse.
Current Status: Low-risk Anomalous Item storage.
Notes: After brief testing, item was determined to be non-hazardous. Request for further testing as a possible disposal for hazardous items is pending.

Item Description: A minor infohazard. Anything describing its physical appearance will automatically be redacted.
Date of Recovery: 04-16-2016
Location of Recovery: Reykjavik, Iceland
Current Status: Placed within storage.

Item Description: A karaoke machine. Anyone who talks in the microphone will have their voice changed to that of a Japanese teenage girl, with anything spoken or sung being automatically translated as well. The voice itself varies slightly from person to person.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2002
Location of Recovery: A nightclub in █████ Prefecture
Current Status: Stationed at Site-32's break room for recreation.

Item Description: A self-reviewing notebook. A short piece of criticism will be written after any text written in the book. As well as reviewing fiction for its value as a novel, it appears to be able to fact check both fiction and nonfiction, and will suggest potential improvements.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: A book of the week club in ██ Spain.
Current Status: In storage at Site-14. Suggestion for use as an aid to research in anomalous and mainstream studies pending approval.

Item Description: A single feather that appears to be constantly changing in color, the feather's color seems to change approximately every two seconds. When music is played within a 12 meter radius, the feather reacts to this stimuli by changing colors much quicker than normal, much like a strobe light, the speed of which it changes seems to vary depending on the speed, beat, tone, and tempo of the song/music being played.
Date of Recovery: 07-2█-20██
Location of Recovery: Found in what appears to be an old and abandoned club in ██████, Philippines.
Current Status: Kept in storage and used during Christmas parties.

Item Description: A maths textbook whose contents can only be remembered by smoking the pages. Pages regenerate after thirty minutes.
Date of Recovery: 16-7-2010
Location of Recovery: █████ █████, Australia
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A man in his mid-30's, capable of twirling any object on his index finger at extreme speeds, regardless of size, mass, chemical composition, or shape of said object in relation to his own body.
Date of Recovery: 03-06-2012
Location of Recovery: Sunderland, Massachusetts
Current Status: In low-threat humanoid containment, Site-12

Item Description: A 4oz cup of ████ brand applesauce, contents nonperishable. Expiration date always matches current date.
Date of Recovery: 6-18-2016
Location of Recovery: Gold Hill, Oregon
Current Status: Inadvertently consumed by Junior Researcher ██████. ██████ suffered mild indigestion but recovered within 12 hours.

Item Description: A goldfish which produces a constant stream of fresh water from its mouth at the rate of 10.9 L/s.
Date of Recovery: 12-10-2016
Location of Recovery: Rhodehampton, New South Wales
Current Status: Forcibly imploded following a blockage in the drainage system for its tank.

Item Description: A 3D jigsaw sphere whose pieces, when disassembled, form two identical copies of the same sphere. Lost pieces of an individual sphere will occasionally be found inside another sphere when disassembling it.
Date of Recovery: 07-03-2016
Location of Recovery: Bowral, New south Wales
Current Status: Initially, three completed puzzles were recovered – the pieces for fifteen more were found inside those spheres. Further testing has resulted in the construction of four additional whole spheres.

Item Description: A cube constructed of concrete which will produce a sap from the ████ tree every two to four hours. Sap has been tested but has proven to have no anomalous properties.
Date of Recovery: ██-20-1998
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED], Switzerland
Current Status: In the storage of Area 01 Site 17 with weekly cleaning from Janitorial Crews. Personnel under the security level of two (2) should not be permitted near the object following the near destruction of the object by Dr. James Write.
Note: I'm surprised that the sap has no anomalous properties. I mean, where does it come from? How is the sap made? Maybe it's a hidden form of teleportation! - Dr. Houston

Item Description: A signed picture of Ethan Klein from the YouTube channel "h3h3Productions", that causes the viewer to cough until it is taken out of their line of sight.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2016
Location of Recovery: In the personal collection of the deceased ██████ ████
Current Status: In a low-value containment locker at Site-37.
Site personnel are not to place bets on how long they can look at this item for. Also, whoever found this, keep it up, proud of you. - Site Director Levy

Item Description: A Northern Mockingbird (Mimus polyglottus) that can imitate any human phrase spoken to it. However, it always repeats these phrases in German, regardless of what language they were initially spoken in.
Date of Recovery: 11-14-2016
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED], North Carolina
Current Status: In a low-security animal containment unit at Site-65

Item Description: A combat knife with a serrated blade and a wooden handle. whenever this knife is used with the intention of harm the knife blade will disappear through unknown means. This event is un-observable and happens instantaneously. When in this anomalous state any person(s) "stabbed" with the knife will instantaneously and unavoidably whisper the phrase "I'm dead" and lie down. After about 4 minutes the victim will reawaken unharmed with no recollection of the event.
Date of Recovery: 05-09-2016
Location of Recovery: ██████████, ███
Current Status: Secured in Site-78's non-sentient storage wing
Note: When we found this █████ wouldn't stop stabbing me with it. Couldn't stop the bastard either. - ████████ from Recovery Team ███

Item Description: An empty USB flash drive. Describing the object in question on any electronic program will cause each word in the document to redirect to a seemingly random YouTube video. If the name of an existing YouTube user is mentioned within the document, it will link to one of their videos (Example: "PewDiePie").
Date of Recovery: 19-06-2002
Location of Recovery: Connected to the computer of Foundation containment specialist ██████.
Current status: [REDACTED].

Item Description: A volcano-shaped cake that erupts approximately every 30 days with either red, luminescent icing or 1500 degrees centigrade lava. The cake is both immune to this lava and doesn't go stale. The item has no place to store either of the liquids it erupts.
Date of Recovery: 04-13-2007
Location of Recovery: A Pompeiian bakery.
Current Status: Held in Site-██ Cafeteria cold-storage Went into dormancy after being exposed to continual cold-storage temperatures. Currently stored in a heated room in an attempt to 'revive' the item.

Item Description: A Heckler & Koch HK416 D10RS carbine. When the fire selector is set to a setting other than "Safe", any lifeform who comes in contact with the weapon will spontaneously hear the song "Shoot to Thrill" by the band AC/DC playing on a loop for as long as they remain in contact.
Date of Recovery: 04-11-2016
Location of Recovery: ██████ gun show, Texas, United States
Current Status: In storage at Site-19. Available at request for firing range usage.

Item Description: A name tag with the name "Steve" written on the front. Upon placing the name tag on a person's chest, the person will claim that their name has always been Steve, regardless of gender.
Date of Recovery: 08-16-2016
Location of Recovery: ██████ CO, United States
Current Status: In storage at Site-17

Item Description: An Armenian style crucifix that emits high pitched squeals by unknown means when exposed to poultry products.
Date of Recovery: 04-17-19██
Location of Recovery: ██████, Armenia
Current Status: In a safe located at Site-19.

Item Description: A chess set made from English Oak. When the pieces are moved on the board they generate specific sounds audible only to the players. Moving a piece creates sounds similar to clanging metal or galloping horses, while removing a piece from play generates sounds of punching or clashing metal. At the end of a game a trumpet fanfare will play for 3 seconds.
Date of Recovery: 13-02-1992
Location of Recovery: ████ █████ ███ █████ Primary School, Serbia
Current Status: In the Area 53 break room.

Item Description: An apple tree whose fruit has been described as abnormally delicious. Any human who consumes a fruit from the tree will be propelled south by southeast away from ██°██'██.█"N ██°██'██.█"E at 87 kph.
Date of Recovery: 05-08-2012
Location of Recovery: Mt. Ararat, Turkey
Current Status: Relocated to Site-██'s arboretum.

Item Description: A wooden door, painted white. At exactly 11:30 PM local time, a knock is heard from the side not being observed. If both sides are observed, knocks will emanate from both sides simultaneously.
Date of Recovery: 14-11-2015
Location of Recovery: London, Britain.
Current Status: In storage at Site-██

Item Description: A standard kitchen sink. Humans over the age of 21 with at least one child under the age of 16 consistently sees it as full of dirty dishes, regardless of its current state. Humans under the age of 18 see it as completely empty, again regardless of current state.
Date of Recovery: 14-11-2015
Location of Recovery: London, Britain
Current Status: In storage at Site-██

Item Description: A candle that never melts while lit. Instead of melting, the candle randomly changes its scent every 5 minutes.
Date of Recovery: 12-01-2016
Location of Recovery: Alaska.
Current Status: In storage for use as a holiday meal centerpiece.

Item Description: A photograph of a ██████. In spite of no evidence for its existence being present, it will cause those who talk about it to insist upon its existence. Contents of the photograph are debated.
Date of Recovery: Unknown
Location of Recovery: Unknown
Current Status: Unknown; existence of object debated. Staff frequently report that the photo is hung in ███████████'s office.

Item Description: A set of candy canes which regenerate when consumed, and causes any kid who consumes one to be exceptionally nice for 30 days. Subsequent consumptions renew this period of niceness.
Date of Recovery: 12-01-200█.
Location of Recovery: A candy store in ███████, California.
Current Status: In Site-██'s Cafeteria for snacks.
If we could take our kids to work, they would enjoy these. -Agent ██████.

Item Description: A collection of 20 space themed "bath bombs." Subjects that are submerged in water affected by the bath bombs claim to be on a "mission to save Earth from the evil space alien Zargop".
Date of Recovery: 11-16-2016
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED], USA
Current Status: In Storage Site-156. Chemical testing begins on █████.

Item Description: A steam iron. When used, clothing being ironed will emit a loud scream as long as direct contact with the iron is kept.
Date of Recovery: 01-03-2017
Location of Recovery: Washington, England
Current Status: In Storage at Site-17.

Item Description: A dog1.jpg. When directly described in any digital text format, the description will immediately be replaced with a JPEG image of dog2.jpg, varying in appearance and quality.
Date of Recovery: 19-01-2017
Location of Recovery: The house of the █████ family, Sunderland, England.
Current Status: Low-security animal containment unit at Site-17.
Note: Her name is Elsie. - Dr. Weppler

Item Description: A pair of dumbbells with no label telling the exact weight. When used, users will report that it is the perfect weight for physical exercise.
Date of Recovery: 07-13-████
Location of Recovery: Anytime Fitness Center, Madison, Wisconsin.
Current Status: In Site-15's break room.

Item Description: A fluorescent, orange, plastic vuvuzela that, when played, renders the user invisible to the naked eye and cameras.
Date of Recovery: 05-06-2010
Location of Recovery: Johannesburg, South Africa
Current Status: In Safe-level storage. Missing. In storage.
Notes: Don't be stupid. We might not see you, but we sure can hear you. - Site 17 Security

The corpse of █████ R. ████, a former filing assistant for the Foundation who was KIB on 06-07-2017. Any text about the object will be altered immediately after writing to be more organized, often to an inflated or unnecessary degree.

Item Description: A bag of ██████ brand chocolate morsels. Eating more than one piece at a time results in the chocolate tasting strongly of human fecal matter.
Date of Recovery: 07-02-2013
Location of Recovery: █████ ███ ████ Bakery in Allentown, New York
Current status: In Site-53 cold storage.

Item Description: An oven that "bakes" people
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████████ School of █████ ███████
Current Status: Site-19, being used as a replacement for SCP-420-J
Notes: This is the best ████ in the world, man -Dr ██████

Item Description: A female specimen of Gallus gallus domesticus, the domesticated hen. Eggs produced by it do not contain yolk or amniotic fluids, but are instead filled with random, common cooking ingredients such as milk, flour, and chocolate. Immediately after oviposition, and if not prevented from doing so, the item will breach the shell with its beak and consume the contents of the egg(s).
Date of Recovery: 01-07-2017
Location of Recovery: Thornton, Colorado.
Current Status: Contained in the aviary of Site-24.

Item Description: A singular Apis (Honey bee) that can remove the color from any substance or material through a process not dissimilar to nectar collection.
Date of Recovery: 01-13-2017
Location of Recovery: Knoxville, Tennessee
Current Status: Kept in low-security animal containment site

Item Description: A living Yoshi doll made of knitted yarn.
Date of Recovery: 01-10-2017
Location of Recovery: The house of the ████████ family.
Current Status: Pending use.
"It's the cutest thing ever! Why would we take it away from them?" - Dr. Betancourt

Item Description: A heart-shaped Valentine's Day card that appears to throb like a real human heart. Anyone who watches it gets a better understanding of the concept of love.
Date of Recovery: 02-14-2010
Location of Recovery: A house in Seattle, Washington.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A headpiece accessory for a costume resembling a set of bull horns. When worn, the subject feels unreasonably furious against red objects and tries to charge into them.
Date of Recovery: 06-05-199█
Location of Recovery: A costume shop in ███████, Spain.
Current Status: In storage. Investigating if it is actually a piece of a bigger costume.
Note: Why the shit have we got red walls?! Seriously! - Agent ███████

Item Description: A 17x17x20 cm birdhouse. Any non-avian animal coming into contact with it is immediately launched into the stratosphere at a velocity of 3 km/s.
Date Of Recovery: 01-23-2017
Location of Recovery: Toronto, Canada
Current Status: Incinerated.

Item Description: The ashes of the the previous AO. Presumably, any non-avian animal coming into contact with it is immediately launched into the ground at a velocity of 3 km/s.
Date Of Recovery: 01-27-2017
Location of Recovery: Canadian Outpost-03
Current Status: Dispersed and neutralized on impact.
Note: Significant structural damage to Candian Outpost-03 has been sustained. Researchers Barrow, Smithson (the handler), and Zurrey expired. Cover story of a military ordnance failure disseminated.

Item Description: An empty bottle of █████ brand soda that will cause any liquid poured out of it to instantly relocate to the users stomach. Liquids pass through the users digestive system non-anomalously.
Date of Recovery: 03-10-2015
Location of Recovery: Soda Factory in Waco, Texas
Current Status: In the cupboard of Dr. █████'s office at Site-44.
Note: You can't even taste the soda you're trying to drink. You're getting all of the sugar and none of the flavor. Talk about a lose-lose. -Dr. █████

Item Description: A patch of skin formerly present on the left calf of an adult Caucasian male. A tattoo is present on the object that reads "Mr. Just Has The Tattoo, by Gamers Against Weed". This tattoo has resisted all attempts at removal. Skin was removed during a grafting procedure. Previous owner has assumed a completely new identity since the procedure and claims to have no memory of his time with the tattoo.
Date of Recovery: 05-02-2016
Location of Recovery: Richmond, Virginia
Current Status: In cryogenic storage.
Note: The tattoo's previous owner possessed a list similar to other "Misters Against Weed". The document is included below. Additionally, while the tattoo was still present on its owner, the subject claimed to have no memory of receiving the tattoo and that it had been present since birth.

Item Description: Cool.
Date of Recovery: 09-02-2017
Location of Recovery: Retrieved during a raid on a known anartist exhibition in Sydney, Australia.
Current Status: Not.

Item Description: Two physically non-anomalous humans Arin Hanson and Dan Avidan. Any content uploaded by either of them onto the internet will immediately receive approximately 200-300 of what the platform's way of sharing or enjoying something is, such as "likes" on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and YouTube. This will occur despite the page they uploaded not being viewed by anything.
Date of Recovery: 05-26-2015
Location of Recovery: Twitter; the anomaly was discovered by Web crawler XIO-177 and was automatically marked as an anomaly.
Current Status: Currently hosting several popular internet web-series. No online comments regarding the anomaly have been noted since discovery.

Item Description: A low-level cognitohazard which causes infected personnel to believe they have "Level 6 clearance" and are capable of accessing every file in the database. The cognitohazard is spread through specific software malfunctions that can occur within the database.
Date of Recovery: 01-27-2010
Location of Recovery: Site-551.
Current Status: The malfunctions that are capable of spreading the cognitohazard have been fixed. A single terminal that still carries the malfunctions is kept at Site-49 for study.

Item Description: An unmarked white cotton glove which has a uniform colour gradient across its entire surface, is completely devoid of any shadows, and has a large, black outline across its edge regardless of viewing angle. These effects lead to it appearing to have a "cartoon" style.
Date of recovery: 07-11-14
Location of Recovery: ████████████, Florida
Current Status: In the office of Dr. ██████.

Item Description: A sheet of white paper with the word "bimonthly" written on it in black marker. When viewed by two or more people, an argument will begin between the viewers as to whether the word means "twice a month" or "once every two months". This argument may escalate into violence without intervention. This effect persists even when subjects are told not to argue over the definition of the word.
Date of Recovery: 02-11-1994
Location of Recovery: Wicklow, Ireland
Current Status: Destroyed in a particularly heated debate between two senior researchers. Both have been reprimanded.

Item Description: A visual cognitohazard affecting approximately 20% of sapient viewers. Object compels the viewer to seek and consume the nearest unopened slice of American cheese.
Date of Recovery: 03-18-2013
Location of Recovery: Sydney, Austrailia
Current Status: In storage. Cheese kept on-site in the event of accidental exposure.

Item Description: A 335 ml glass cup that causes waitstaff of any location to compulsively fill it to the brim.
Date of Recovery:3-29-2016
location of Recovery: █████████ ████, Atlanta, Georgia
Current Status: Broken after staff in kitchen raced to fill it up.
Notes: Remnants reformed into bowl on orders of Dr. ███████, effects remain.

Descriptive: Penny-sized, green, circular. Anomalously causes immediate dying if non-descriptives or non-actives are used in describing.
Recovered: ██-██-20██
Currently: Held securely. Termination requested.

Item Description: A ███████ brand Go-Kart that leaves footprints instead of tire tracks. Radio will only play the sound of an unidentified male weeping.
Date of Recovery: 09-03-2013
Location of Recovery: A recently abandoned warehouse in ████████, England
Current Status: Held in Site-██'s low-value vehicle garage.

Item Description: A metronome. When turned on by an individual, said individual will sway to the pendulum until it stops. Individuals who do so are unable to recall swaying to the metronome.
Date of Recovery: 09-29-1985
Location of Recovery: Venice, Italy
Current Status: In high value storage of Site-██

Item Description: The skeleton of an unknown species of the clade Dinosauria that dates back 160 million years. The specimen appears to be bipedal, with two large 3 meter feet on the end of 27 centimeter legs, and a seemingly randomly curved spine. The subject's front limbs have been replaced with apparatuses that function similarly to M1911 handguns, entirely constructed from bone. The limbs only shoot shards of bone in the shape of 9mm handgun bullets, and will not shoot if supplied with any other type of bullet.
Date of Recovery: 9-5-2008
Location of Recovery: An undisclosed dig site in Kansas, USA.
Current Status: In storage at Site-551's Archaeological Wing.

Item Description: A self-refilling 3.8 liter "gallon jug" of milk, which if ingested causes the subject to vomit cheese after a period of 3 to 6 hours.
Date of Recovery: 4/30/1986
Location of Recovery: ████████ County Fair, Alabama, USA
Current Status: In refrigerated storage at Site-██

Item Description: An unknown brand chemical toilet (colloquially known as a "Porta-potty"). Analysis of the materials used to construct the item reveals that the structure is approximately 165 million years old. Multiple instances of petrified feces belonging to unknown species of the clade Dinosauria are found within the item's holding tank.
Date of Recovery: 03-28-2017
Location of Recovery: An undisclosed city in Montana, USA.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A bearded dragon that produces a miniature representation of the Aurora Borealis.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2002
Location of Recovery: ████ ███████, Colorado
Current Status: In animal containment.

Item Description: Printer ink cartridge that spontaneously extrudes seawater.
Date of Recovery: 02/24/17
Location of Recovery: Site-██, Dr. Chris "Ox" Moran's Printer
Current Status: In permanent storage.

Item Description: A plastic toy magician's wand. When held by a human and moved at a speed greater than 5 m/s in any direction, item will emit green sparks from whichever end is not being held.
Date of Recovery: 11-03-2016
Location of Recovery: Bradford, England, United Kingdom
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A standard sized ████████ brand chocolate powder container. Interior dimensions do not correspond to exterior dimensions, extending one meter past top.
Date of Recovery: 02-15-2017
Location of Recovery: Wilmington, Delaware, United States
Current Status: In storage
Notes: On recovery, object contained the amount of powder found in non-anomalous containers, twenty-seven American cents, three Euros, and a human thumb.

Item Description: A generic pink "piggy bank" containing an endless amount of United States Quarter-Dollars.
Location of Recovery: Fairbanks, Alaska
Date of Recovery::1/22/12
Current Status: In Storage
Notice: Any Staff caught using this device to further their wealth will be severely reprimanded. -Dr. Garbers

Item Description: A grapefruit weighing -100 kilograms.
Date of Recovery: 4/10/2017.
Location of Recovery: A supermarket in Baltimore, MD.
Current Status: Consumed by Agent Joseph. Agent reprimanded.
I lost weight after eating that thing! -Agent Joseph.

Item Description: A young Guatemalan female between the ages of █ and ██ that has the lower body of a Thomson's gazelle.
Date of Recovery: 10-12-2001
Location of Recovery: Cobán, Guatemala
Current Status: Humanely terminated upon request.

Item Description: A piece of tape that repels any surface the "sticky" side approaches during attempted use.
Date of Recovery: 03-02-2005
Location of Recovery: Salt Lake City, Utah
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A wooden nutcracker in the shape of Joseph Stalin. It will only break nuts if someone who lived in the former East Germany uses it.
Date of Recovery: 11-9-1989
Location of Recovery: Berlin, Germany
Current Status: In storage at Site-██.

Item Description: A standard-sized (92 x 57 x 203 mm) brick. One side of item (arbitrarily designated the top) constantly displays the 1951 British-American film The African Queen, in its entirety and on endless loop.
Date of Recovery: 4-27-2004
Location of Recovery: Cape Town, South Africa
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A strain of H3N2 influenza that causes dreams of stringed instruments in infected subjects. Dreams typically relate to the presence of microscopic instruments in the blood and lungs.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████████, ███████.
Current Status: Endemic to the ████████ region. Containment efforts are ongoing.

Item Description: A navy blue ██████-brand hoody. When used to clean the lenses of glasses, monocles, or other eyewear, the item removes approximately 99.9% of noticeable smudges, scratches, and microbial life. Subjects who use the item report their eyewear as being "crystal clear" immediately following use.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2017
Location of Recovery: ████████, Virginia
Current Status: Hung on a coat rack in the break room of Site-██ for general use.

Item Description: A standard asthma inhaler containing a ████████-brand aluminium container. Upon inhaling the contents of the inhaler, the user's bronchioles seize up in a manner analogous to an asthma attack. These symptoms cease after approximately 5 minutes.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2009
Location of Recovery: ██ █████████ Hospital, Sydney
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A VHS tape labeled "Jack Nicholson Wearing Less Than One Shirt". Subjects who view the contents of the tape become unable to perceive more than 50% of any object at a time unless applied amnestic treatment.
Date of Recovery: 05-02-2017
Location of Recovery: Cedar Springs, Colorado
Current Status: In a storage locker in Site-27.

Item Description: A fully functioning 1:100 scale replica of a Colnago Arabesque bicycle. Despite the object's size, it possesses the same velocity and acceleration capabilities as a regular Arabesque.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2016
Location of Recovery: Nagano, Japan
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A standard NERF dart gun with lazer sight attachment that, when fired, acts as a regular 9 millimeter handgun. Fires Nerf darts at the same velocity as a regular 9 millimeter round and the same force and lethality as expected from a projectile of this speed.
Date of Recovery: 3/4/10
Location of Recovery: Evidence Locker in ██████████ ███ Australia
Current Status: In Dr Rhodes office in case of emergency
Note: Funniest. Death. Ever. - Dr Rhodes in light of incident 1456-A

Item Description: A bus stand located that causes all buses with the stand as their destination to arrive 10 minutes later than scheduled, by causing a series of apparently unrelated accidents to delay the bus's arrival.
Date of Recovery: 05/09/16
Location of Recovery: Mascot, Sydney, Australia
Current Status: Contained by ensuring all buses that use the stand arrive at 10-minute intervals.

Item Description: An olive-green metal cube that will turn into plastic and melt unless referred to as "Olivia." If referred to as "Olivia", it will revert back into a metal cube.
Date of Recovery:6/1/1993
Location of Recovery: Alhambra, California, USA
Current Status: In storage
Note: The plastic is thermosetting plastic.

Item Description: A standard, non-anomalous white deck chair. It is devoid of any anomalous properties other than its location of recovery.
Date of Recovery: N/A
Location of Recovery: The surface of Europa, the moon of Jupiter.
Current Status: Remains on the surface of Europa due to cost of extraction.

Item Description: A pair of glasses. When worn, the user will notice objects or persons within eyesight will appear or disappear.
Date of Recovery: 5/9/2014
Location of Recovery: Columbia, South Carolina.
Current Status: Storage Room on Site 18.

Item Description: A statue of Cupid that, when touched, will render the subject fertile.
Date of Recovery: 2/14/█████
Location of Recovery: ████, █████
Current Status: Storage Room on Site ██

Item Description: A plastic trash can that sprays water whenever placed near extreme heat or fire.
Date of Recovery: 3/2/2017.
Location of Recovery: Baltimore, MD.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A bottle that, no matter the contents, when flipped will always land on its head.
Date of Recovery: 9/12/2016
Location of Recovery: ███████ High School vending machine
Current Status: Used as a gimmick to impress new agents accepted into the Foundation.
Can Dr. Malchozky please return the item to the front desk of Site-46? Professor Yang would like his turn now.

Item Description: A severed human hand that provides good luck and fortune to anyone who possesses it.
Date of Recovery: 31/5/2017
Location of Recovery: Found in SCP-████'s chamber after D-class failed to properly follow containment procedures.
Current Status: In an air tight glass container in break room of Site-27 to remind personnel that containment procedures must be followed. Also believed to provide some sort of morale boost to anyone in the presence of the item.

Item Description: A .55 calibre bullet with the date of manufacture as 8/2/1898. The bullet was carbon dated back to 1898 being the only of it's kind created back then. The bullet can be fired an innumerous amount of times.
Date of Recovery: 12/8/2017
Location of Recovery: ███████, China.
Current Status: Used in target practise against heavily armoured targets.

Item Description: A white glass plate seven inches in diameter where anything eaten from it is given a strong taste of salt, even if it did not contain any.
Date of Recovery: 7/3/2009
Location of Recovery: █████, France.
Current Status: In Storage.

Item Description: An otherwise unremarkable Bayliner Cierra Boat that attracts blood towards itself.
Date of Recovery: 2/24/20██
Location of Recovery: Guangxi, China.
Current Status: In Storage.

Item Description: A pair of macro-quantum entangled Jenga sets.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██
Location of Recovery: ███████ ████, ███ ████
Current Status: In storage; Site 15 Breakroom, Site 17 Breakroom

Item Description: A copy of Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa, painted by an unknown artist. When looked at, the eyes of the woman in the painting appear to staring at whoever is looking at it. Multiple people in the room report that each person appears to be stared at simultaneously.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2017
Location of Recovery: A yard sale in ██████, New Jersey.
Current Status: Hanging on the wall in a hallway at Site-19 for aesthetic purposes.

Item Description: A 3-year old female golden retriever dog, named Peachy, that meows and purrs like a cat instead of barking. Has 7 toes on each paw instead of the usual 4.
Date of Recovery: 2-28-2017
Location of Recovery: █████████ Animal Shelter, █████, Texas
Current Status: Site-19 psychiatric office, currently owned by Dr. █████ as a therapy dog for her patients.

Item Description: A Chinese-made AMR-2 anti-material rifle. When fired while loaded with ammunition, a red flag with the word "BANG" in uppercase letters will eject from the barrel. One round in the magazine will disappear after each "shot". "BANG" will always be written in the first language of the person who fired the shot.
Date of Recovery: █-█-2017
Location of Recovery: █████, China
Current Status: Site-19, in storage; available for personnel to use at the Site-19 firing range upon request.

Item Description: A piece of paper that show stylized logo of various GoI in purple ink, logo and style changing every three months.
Date of Recovery: 12/30/2016
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED]
Current Status: Framed in Site-88 hallway.

Item Description: An indestructible █████ brand camera tripod. Human beings approaching this object develop an urge to physically assault the item until they are exhausted. Additionally, any electronic devices possessing speakers brought within 5 meters of the object will spontaneously begin to play Megadeth's "Tornado of Souls" at ██dB, regardless of whether or not the device is charged.
Date of Recovery: 5 May 2017
Location of Recovery: ████'s Camera Shop, ██████, Arizona.
Current Status: Kept for recreational purposes in Site-45.

Item Description: An elevator cab. Any acceleration the cab experiences is directly applied to all contents of the cab; this acceleration is thus undetectable from the cab's interior.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██
Location of Recovery: ███████, Beijing.
Current Status: Under study at Site-██.

Item Description: A REALLY COOL ROCK! I MEAN THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST AWESOME ROCKS I HAVE EVER SEEN! IN FACT IT IS THE COOLEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN! Item is in fact a small rock that when someone touches or picks up believes the rock to be the “coolest” thing ever. This is still in effect after the person stops touching it. Other than this it seems to be a normal rock.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Was found by Dr.███████ while studying SCP-████, after some study it was found to not be connected to SCP-████.
Current Status: ON THE RADDEST DESK OF THE AMAZING DR.███████, BECAUSE HE FOUND IT AND THEREFORE IS THE COOLEST PERSON!

Item Description: A number of common handkerchiefs which, when placed inside one's trousers' pocket will rid the subject of cold, flu, and symptoms of rhinitis.
Date of Recovery: 19-05-1996
Location of Recovery: Was found in Tavor, Czech Republic, after half of the town recovered from the early onsets of an outbreak of pneumonia.
Current Status: Conserved in a locker at Site-██, since extended medical research has been deemed not cost-effective for the Foundation.

Item Description: A case for an ███████ model phone. When applied to the phone of the appropriate model, the screen will become intensely sensitive to any form of contact. As much as a small drag of a fingernail along the phone, top to bottom, could cause major damage to both the screen and the internals.
Date of Recovery: 10-04-201█
Location of Recovery: ████████, Virginia.
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: The removal process almost put a hole completely through the phone… I better not see this case on anyone's phone around here, consensual or not. - Dr. ██████

Item Description: An average USB flash drive that, when attempts are made to insert it into a computer, will always be inverted as to prevent itself from being plugged in.
Date of Recovery: 12-09-201█
Location of Recovery: ███████ County Library, Florida
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: The website, "whatwouldhappenifiwasshot.███". When accessed, it generates an accurate 3D model of the user, which can then be "shot" by clicking on any part of the body.
Date of Recovery: 07-01-2017
Location of Recovery: N/A. Discovered following a Reddit post on the "todayilearned" sub-forum.
Current Status: Domain blocked from all major internet service providers.

Item Description: A rubber ball, 5 cm in diameter, that slowly rolls toward the closest living human. Running it through a metal detector showed no signs of electronic parts.
Date of Recovery: 07-02-2017
Location of Recovery: The break room, rolling around the feet of annoyed personnel.
Current Status: In a small glass container, duct taped to Dr. ████'s desk.

Item Description: 30 black baseball hats. When a human puts on one of the hats, The logo of their least favorite Major League Baseball (MLB) team will appear on the front. If the wearer does not possess any knowledge of the MLB, the hat will remain blank.
Date of Recovery: 07-██-2017
Location of Recovery: ██████, New York, USA
Current Status: One hat was incinerated, no anomalous properties found in remains. The other 29 hats are in the Site-19 lounge.
Notes: Why does no one here know about the MLB? - Dr. ████

Item Description: A mouse pad that renders any computer mouse useless.
Date of Recovery: 1-15-20██
Location of recovery: Stock Exchange Office, New York
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: No matter how funny you think it would be, do not replace another researcher's mouse pad with this. - Dr. ██████

Item Description: A sewer grate that appears to be invisible in any photo taken on a digital camera.
Date of Recovery: 8-10-2017
Location of Recovery: Kyoto, Japan
Current Status: Under surveillance

Item Description: A nuclear warhead that constantly plays dubstep. The songs are original to the warhead and played at 95 dB.
Date of Recovery: 5-24-2011
Location of Recovery: [CLASSIFIED IN CONJUNCTION WITH UNITED KINGDOM AUTHORITIES]
Current Status: Installed as Site-25 on-site nuclear safeguard
Note: Before containment, a number of songs produced were released online crediting "DJ Dirty Nuke" as their creator. We would like to speak with whoever is responsible for their release, but the songs themselves need no containment. - Dr. Wall

Item Description: A grey suitcase. Results of X-ray imaging will indicate that illegal contraband exist within its conpartments, despite any not physically existing.
Date of Recovery: ██/██/2017
Location of Recovery: █████████ , Canada
Current Status: In storage within Site-███.

Item Description: A small grey blanket with red and blue stripes. Despite the soft appearance, it feels like standard issue sandpaper.
Date of Recovery: 5-2-2014
Location of Recovery:██████, Canada
Current Status: Inside the office of Dr. Quinton In Site-73 storage.
Notes: D-7295 used this as a weapon to injure several researchers during low-level containment breach, requesting to move item to Site-73 storage. - Dr. Quinton

Item Description: A standard dinner fork that when used will cause whatever it has been stabbed into to change into medium rare cooked steak.
Date of Recovery: 7/26/17
Location of Recovery: Tampa, Florida
Current Status: In Area-108 standard storage locker.
Notes: During a low-level containment breach caused by the Chaos Insurgency, item was taken out of containment by an escaped Class-D and used on several agents. Class-D was terminated and item returned to storage.

Item Description: An acoustic guitar that will play any song, with vocals in Kurt Donald Cobain's voice.
Date of Recovery: 4/5/94
Location of Recovery: Seattle, Washington
Current Status: Currently in Dr. Brim's possession.
Notes: I'll be taking this to my office and keeping it secure, at least someone will enjoy the present he left us all. -Dr. Brim

Item description: A youtube video made by the youtuber PopularMMOs PatVsTheWorld. When described in any sense, it will cause all text written about it to turn white.
Date of Recovery:9/30/17
Location of Recovery:N/A
Current Status:Deleted.
Damn. -Pat █████

Item Description: A Teapot orbiting the sun.
Date of Recovery: 03-09-2003
Location of Recovery: Detected by the Foundation's Space Telescope ██████ for observing astronomical anomalies at coordinates + ██° ██' ██'' at █.██ au of distance from Earth.
Current Status: All non-foundation telescopes with capabilities of detecting the teapot are to be monitored. If the object is detected, all data about it should be deleted and class-A amnestics should be administrated to non-foundation civilians who observed the object.
Note: Sending a space mission to recover the object was deemed too costly and has been denied by the order of O5-█.

Item Description: A self-containing spatial-temporal paradox. Indescribable appearance.
Date of Recovery: All the time
Location of Recovery: Everywhere
Current Status: Not in containment, located in a standard locker.
Notes: I don't know what or when this thing is, but I think it isn't now. - Dr. Javlin

Item Description: A twelve-inch ruler that changes the length of whatever object it is measuring to exactly twelve inches. All other measurements of said object are changed proportionally.
Date of Recovery: █/██/15
Location of Recovery:████████ Middle School, ███████, Oregon
Current Status: Currently in Dr. Bright's possession In storage.
Notes: Please be advised that any researchers attempting to use this item to manipulate the length of a certain bodily extremity will be reassigned and severely reprimanded. Seriously, Bright. You're going to hurt yourself. - Dr. Brim

Item Description: Pots of paint, the pigment of which only visually stimulates the cone cells in the eye. This effect causes it to appear constantly dimly lit, and to become grey when viewed from any direction other than head-on. Further effects include headaches and eye-ache, after prolonged exposure.
Date of Recovery: 29/3/2017
Location of Recovery: █████, ████████
Current Status: Research is underway on utilising this AO as camouflage, and on synthesising larger amounts of the pigment. SCP-294 to be used for this purpose when free.
Notes: Interesting, this one. Somehow, the effect also works when the pigment is viewed through a photo. I've no idea how. - Dr. Hagemeister

Item Description: A CD with the song "Up in the Sky" by english rock band Oasis. When the line "before you start falling" plays, any objects not touching the ground in a 6 meter circle around the source of the music will immediately fall to the ground at a speed of 5.4 m/s. This effect extends to the end of the atmosphere.
Date of Recovery: 7/6/2017
Location of Recovery: Creation Records warehouse, █████, ██
Current Status: In storage, accessible if needed to recontain flying SCPs.

Item Description: An otherwise unknown subspecies of Pinus pumila (Siberian dwarf pine). The wood of this species functions as a superconducter, with a resistance of practically zero.
Date of Recovery: 9-13-1992
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED], Siberia
Current Status: Due to the species' isolated location and low population, only minimal containment is necessary. Currently, Outpost-18 of Site-███ has been set up to monitor the only known population.

Item Description: An ornate vase, which, when observed, slightly corrupts any medium containing information about it (This effect extends to memory). Scale of corruption is proportional with duration of viewing.
Date of Recovery: 15/11/2000
Location of Recovery: █████, ████████
Current Status: Currently in storage, in an opaque box.
Notes: At least twenty copies of this text are to be kept at all times. On the off chance that the vase is viewed, we can piece together the entry from the fragments of each copy.- Dr. Hagemeister

Item Description: A small wooden cup that is instantly filled with sulfuric acid if anyone within a 2 meter radius pronounces the words "Phillip is coming over from Spain." The cup does not seem to suffer any modifications by the substance.
Date of Recovery: ██-█-████
Location of Recovery: ██████, Portugal
Current Status: In storage within Site ██.
Notes: Following a series of incidents regarding our fellow colleague Phillip's transfer from Spanish site ██ and a significant amount of acid burns, of no one is to be allowed access to the wooden cup without explicit clearance from myself. - Dr. ███████

ʇɥƃᴉɹq ˙ɹp - ¿ʞɔɐq ʇᴉ ǝʌɐɥ I uɐƆ :sǝʇoN
˙ǝƃɐɹoʇs uI :snʇɐʇS ʇuǝɹɹnƆ
ǝɔᴉɟɟo s,ʇɥƃᴉɹq ˙ɹp ǝpᴉsuI :ʎɹǝʌoɔǝɹ ɟo uoᴉʇɐɔo˥
████-██-██ :ʎɹǝʌoɔǝɹ ɟo ǝʇɐp
uʍop ǝpᴉsdn ʇᴉ sǝqᴉɹɔsǝp ʇɐɥʇ ʇxǝʇ llɐ sǝʞɐɯ ʇɐɥʇ xoq ∀ :uoᴉʇdᴉɹɔsǝp ɯǝʇI

Item Description: A slab of concrete engraved with the words: "Please step here on █/██/████ to prevent the apocalypse". The item itself currently posseses a hume reading of ██.█ but has no apparent effects on outside reality.
Date of Recovery: 3/05/2005
Location of recovery: Taken from a sidewalk in █████ Texas.
Current Status: In storage. Plans for testing of the item on █/██/████ have been approved.

Item Description: A CD containing a copy of Elvis Nightmare, which inexplicably makes users who play it travel to the nearest temple and undergo a year of religious fulfillment.
Date of Recovery: 05/08/2014
Location of Recovery: CD recovered from the bedroom of a Vatican Priest.
Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A piece of paper. Descriptions of the item will transform the texts medium into paper. Individuals witnessing the resulting effect from this item will feel a strong urge to support the item, usually by compliments.
Date of Recovery: 5/3/2017
Location of Recovery: Site-█s main entrance zone.
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: God, this data looks AMAZING. What kind of paper did you use? I love it!

Item Description: A Carl Thompson Rainbow Bass. When any song of the band Primus is played, a voice is heard saying "Primus Sucks!". This effect is present regardless of whether the song was played perfectly or incomplete.
Date of Recovery: 05/02/2006
Location of Recovery: A music store in ██████.
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: Primus Sucks!

Item Description: A large bathroom mirror. anyone who looks into the mirror has a strong urge to have a staring contest with their own reflection. This urge subsides once the individual blinks.
Date of Recovery: 09/09/2017
Location of Recovery: A pawn shop in ███████ Texas.
Current Status: In storage.
Notes: A cloth should be kept over the mirror to prevent the anomalous property.

Informazioni Sull'oggetto: Una ciotola di spaghetti che quando hanno visto modifiche tutte le informazioni digitate o scritto su di esso in Italiano mal formulata.
Giorno di ottenere tale oggetto: 03/01/2017
Piastra di recupero: ████, Americani Uniti Territory.
Corrente: mangiato.

Item Description: Thirteen Russian Matryoshka dolls that all mutually fit inside of each other.
Date of Recovery: 2/10/1923
Location of Recovery: ██ kilometers Northeast of Moscow, Russia.
Current Status: 2 shattered by reckless researcher (reprimanded. Remains show no anomalous properties), 11 on display in Site ██ Anomalous Items wing.

Item Description: A blue backpack. When this backpack comes into contact with a human, its weight increases by approx. 379.5 kilograms. After ten minutes of contact, the weight of the backpack will slowly increase. The backpack is currently 6002.18 kg.
Date of Recovery: 18/6/2017
Location of Recovery: A community elementary school in █████, Ohio.
Current Status: In process of being transported to Site-███.
Notes: By god, the recovery team still hasn't gotten it to the site. They've been hauling that thing from █████ to here for the past year now. Turns out automated contact still counts. — Junior Researcher ██

Item Description: I'm a rubber ducky! :3 I can squeak, talk, and float! :D <3
Date of Recovery: Who cares! Who wants to snuggle? ;)
Location: I was from… oh, God…
Current Status: … Well, heh, looks like… w-was dad really like that?

… I need to go lie down…

*wimper*

Item Description: An audio file named Bells.mp3. It plays a random song played on bells each time it is opened. Upon listening to the audio clip in its entirety, the viewer will hear that exact song heard in the clip every time a bell rings within the area it is audible to the subject. This only affects the viewer, and lasts for an indefinite amount of time unless an amnesiac is administered or the subject is rendered deaf.
Date of Recovery: 4/3/2016
Location of Recovery: Recovered from a laptop in London, England
Current Status: Stored on a computer at Site-█.
Notes: Personnel who change their colleague's ringtones to the .mp3 file outside testing purposes will be reprimanded.

Item Description: A PNG file of a pair of human lungs that causes anyone who views anything related to it to forcibly breathe manually, sneeze and cough for █ hours. The effects may vary, but do not accumulate.
Date of Recovery: [REDACTED]
Location of Recovery: The computer of various citizens in ██████ city, Brazil.
Current Status: Stored on a computer as
Notes: Personnel who prank others with this will be seriously reprimanded.

Item Description: A soda can. Analysis indicates that the ratio of the circumference of its bases to the diameter of its bases (i.e., the value of pi) is roughly equal to 4.282983.
Date of Recovery: 2017-09-19
Location of Recovery: Nishinomiya, Hyōgo Prefecture, Japan
Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A VHS tape with a recording of the music video for "Once in a Lifetime" by the band Talking Heads. The segment with the repeated line "Same as it ever was" continues from timecode 1:57 for two hours of non-repeating footage, with David Byrne repeating the line and looking increasingly distraught as hands grip his head.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-1980
Location of Recovery: ████████, ████
Current Status: General media storage.
Notes: Crew who worked on the original filming were interviewed. They all agree that no extra footage of this segment was shot.

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