SCP-1459额外实验记录

玩家:Lindquist博士
陳述:“周日夜足球。”
結果:SCP-1459-1在4天内毫发无损。期间还被供给食物和水。下一天晚上在中央时区8:30 PM,SCP-1459产生了一个夹着足球的液压撞机,以极高速度把SCP-1459-1踢进了球门里。

玩家:Lindquist博士
陳述:“弑母。”
結果:尽管是一只幼年犬,SCP-1459-1展现出了一只即将分娩的成年犬的行为。一个半小时后,3个类似甲壳纲的不明生物从SCP-1459-1的阴道中钻出,肢解并吃掉了SCP-1459-1。

玩家:Reich博士
陳述:“海上叛乱。”
結果:SCP-1459的内部空间被注上了水,一艘小木筏和两个额外SCP-1459-1个体被生成。最开始的SCP-1459-1被戴上了一个迷你三角帽,并开始对着其他两个个体凶猛地嚎叫。另两个个体看起来相互点了点头,把第一个个体打倒并推入水中。之后木筏倾覆,后两个个体也在8分钟后被溺毙。

玩家:Iqbal博士
陳述:“暗杀。”
結果:一只机械手从SCP-1459的暗门中伸出,把一顶迷你大礼帽戴在了SCP-1459-1头上。之后数个机械手拿着各式武器突然出现,依次对SCP-1459-1执行了刺杀、殴打、强制注射至少13种不同物质等动作。SCP-1459-1在一系列动作后几乎立即死亡,3分钟后一个单独的机械手从暗门拿着一把来福枪出现,并以之朝向SCP-1459-1的头盖骨射击。尽管只有一支枪出现且只记录到了一次射击,SCP-1459-1头上却出现了两个弹孔。

玩家:Nark博士
陳述:“我的‘lett’连杀。”
結果:一个机械手带着一空的电视框从SCP-1459的暗门中下降到SCP-1459-1一旁。SCP-1459-1处于电视框后方,正对Nark博士。第二只机械手之后拿着一把95式突击步枪从电视框前方降下。SCP-1459-1被枪隔着电视框射击致死。

玩家:Damm博士
陳述:“空中缠斗。”
結果:一架迷你飞机被机械臂降入中。飞机为单座开放式驾驶舱双翼飞机,机翼上装有小型机枪,机身一侧装饰有法国国旗。该飞机被等比例缩小至其驾驶舱能容下一只幼年犬。机械臂接下来将SCP-1459-1放进了飞机驾驶舱,之后飞机开始在内室内飞行。一分钟后,SCP-1459的暗门打开并放出了第二只迷你飞机,由第二只SCP-1459-1驾驶,飛進室内。该飞机与第一架基本相似,但机身上印着德国国旗。两架飞机绕着彼此飞行了约3分钟。在几次几乎碰撞后,法国飞机向德国开火,打坏其一侧机翼。德国飞机还击,击落对方并杀死了第一只SCP-1459-1个体。之后德国飞机也似乎由于严重受损坠毁,第二只SCP-1459-1个体也因此死亡。

玩家:Talan博士
陳述:“吓吓我。”
結果:SCP-1459保持15分钟没有动作。在这期间,SCP-1459-1开始在SCP-1459内不安地走动。个体似乎在反复地查看SCP-1459天花板上的暗门。15分钟后,inSCP-1459的暗门打开。SCP-1459-1停止走动并坐下,死死地盯着暗门。Talan博士被观察到走近了窗口,也盯着暗门。又过了5分钟,一系列的噪音、亮光和通常用于“尖叫”病毒的恐怖图片突然从暗门内出现。SCP-1459-1在倒地前挑起了30厘米高。Talan博士紧抓胸口,心脏病发作倒地。在30秒后,一只机械臂伸出,戳了SCP-1459-1两下,之后个体从活版门坠下。
筆記:Talan博士已恢复健康。此外SCP-1459送出了两块B████牌饼干。

玩家:Edison博士
陳述:“不朽。”
結果:一只机械手将SCP-1459-1拉入天花板的暗门里。之后SCP-1459-1痛苦的叫喊声持续了约30分钟,之后又是30分钟的寂静。之后暗门再次打开,SCP-1459-1变成了动物标本被降下,配有一块写着“我们的英雄”的小牌。

玩家:King博士
陳述:“零重力。”
結果:SCP-1459-1被无数苹果籽淹没,窒息而死。
我怎么会产生了这次肯定会不一样的错觉?-King博士

玩家:Edison博士
陳述:“Are We Cool Yet?”
結果:[数据删除]留下了SCP-1459-1的尸体悬在半空,绕着亚伯拉罕·林肯唱歌的头旋转。

玩家:初級研究員Kitterman
陳述:“处刑队。”
結果:一个德国牧羊犬SCP-1459-1个体出现,被捆在一根柱上。一个眼罩蒙在它眼睛上,口中被塞了一根点着的香烟。五只斗牛犬SCP-1459-1个体穿着一战期间的美国远征军军装出现,手持迷你步枪。其中一个个体嚎叫三声(推测是在说“预备,瞄准,开火”),随后其他四个个体朝牧羊犬个体开火将其射杀。
筆記:Taps在清理期间的正常结束提示時播放。

玩家:Laries博士
陳述:“关于宇宙的完整知识。”
結果:一个标着“B█████ ██ █████”的小桶被放入SCP-1459。SCP-1459-1走近小桶,朝里面看去,之后开始哀嚎哭泣。之后它一边哭号一边跑开,撞上了SCP-1459的一面墙,当即死亡。

玩家:Harper博士
陳述:“扑克。”
結果:五个额外的SCP-1459-1个体和一副迷你扑克桌、扑克牌一起被放下。所有个体围在桌边开始玩扑克。输掉所有牌的个体会被一把壁炉火钳立即击杀。游戏结束后,赢家被给予一个小球,之后被一把金色的火钳击杀。
筆記:SCP-1459送出了6根雪茄而非饼干。

玩家:研究員Prescott
陳述:“绝对零度”
結果:两只机械臂从暗门伸出,拿出了一张桌子,桌上安有一温度计。很快内室的温度开始急速下降。一小时后温度达到0.01 K后不再变化,SCP-1459-1被一把铁锤敲成碎片。

玩家:Reed博士
陳述:“啤酒”
結果:三根管子从SCP-1459顶部的暗门伸出,插进了SCP-1459-1的鼻孔和嘴里。一种黄色液体(推测是啤酒)从管中流出。SCP-1459-1表现出了醉酒症状,3分41秒后溺毙。

玩家:Nepale博士
陳述:“捆进网里。”
結果:四个机械臂从暗门伸出,其中一个拿着一个金属丝织成的大网。机械臂拉住四个角展开大网,罩在SCP-1459-1上方,直到完全张开。之后,机械臂拿着大网快速地罩向SCP-1459-1。对象停住了约3秒,之后全身血肉在瞬间四分五裂散成碎块。机械臂随后将网收拢,回到暗门中。
筆記:饼干被分成四瓣送出。

玩家:Sterling博士
陳述:“大炮。”
結果:四只机械臂伸出。两只捡起SCP-1459-1,第三只拿着看起来是大炮的东西,第四只拿着一个█████牌打火机。SCP-1459-1之后被按入炮筒中。大炮被对准SCP-1459顶部后点火。30秒后,大炮将SCP-1459-1射出并直接撞上了SCP-1459天花板。

玩家:Sterling博士
陳述:“从SCP-1459里强制弹出。”
結果:SCP-1459似乎无视了这条描述。也似乎没有察觉到它被称为SCP-1459。第二次试验中SCP-1459被称为“赢块饼干娃娃机”,结果相同。猜测这是这是SCP-1459无法被打开的特性造成。

玩家:Sterling博士
陳述:“自由。”
結果:SCP-1459发出了方式已被使用的音效。

玩家:Sterling博士
陳述:“之前所有方式一起使用。”
結果:SCP-1459发出了方式已被使用的音效,且持续了4小时又25分钟。

玩家:█████████博士
陳述:“甲基苯丙铵。”
結果:一个喷嘴从顶部暗门伸出,开始放出大量灰烟。SCP-1459-1在5分钟后开始变得不安,看起来似乎呼吸困难。在烟雾彻底充满内室后,SCP-1459-1表现得极为痛苦,在10分钟后突发癫痫。在15分钟时,SCP-1459内的可见度开始降低,SCP-1459-1仍可见,并在SCP-1459里无规律地漫步。两分钟后,能见度变为零,一声闷响传出之后SCP-1459开始自我清理。猜测死因可能是过多剂量摄入导致的心脏骤停或中风。
筆記:饼干上包着蓝色透明晶状物,测试证实是蓝莓硬糖。

玩家:Ford博士
陳述:Volcano
結果:The top hatch opens. After about 5 minutes molten lava is dispensed and falls onto SCP-1459-1, burying it completely. After a few seconds of sizzling the lava is dumped into the bottom chute.
筆記:Cookie was chocolate with hot fudge filling.

玩家:Trend博士
陳述:"Professional Wrestling."
結果:Another instance of SCP-1459-1, wearing a tight-fitting outfit, was dispensed. The second SCP-1459-1 instance proceeded to grab the original SCP-1459-1 instance and toss the instance head-first on to the ground, in a similar fashion to a "suplex" technique, presumably snapping the neck of the SCP-1459-1 instance. The second instance was terminated via the default bludgeoning method.

玩家:Skial博士
陳述:"Digested."
結果:Another, larger instance of SCP-1459-1 was dispensed. It proceeded to pick up the original SCP-1459-1 and swallow it. After about 30 minutes the second instance excreted waste, which had bone fragments lining the surface. The second instance was terminated via the default bludgeoning method.
筆記:Cookie was double chocolate flavored.

玩家:█████博士
陳述:"Irony"
結果:The top hatch opens. After 15 minutes, a metallic tray, approximately .5m x .75m x .01m in dimension, holding one dozen chocolate chip cookies is lowered and set before SCP-1459-1 by two arms. After an additional 3 minutes, instance of SCP-1459-1 proceeds to ingest cookies vigorously. SCP-1459-1 ingests five cookies within 2 minutes, then [REDACTED]. SCP-1459-1 proceeded to combust and was rapidly incinerated. Deceased SCP-1459-1, remaining three cookies, tray and [REDACTED].
筆記: Awarded cookie was chocolate chip. Extensive testing of cookie found no anomalous or aberrant toxins or substances except ██mg more magnesium than typical of chocolate chip cookies dispensed by SCP-1459.

玩家:Black博士
陳述:"The "WIN A COOKIE" Machine"
結果:A miniature replica of SCP-1459 falls from the top hatch, crushing the SCP-1459-1 instance. A replica of the SCP-1459-1 instance is placed within the SCP-1459 replica via a metal arm. A miniature replica of the replica of SCP-1459 falls from the top hatch of the SCP-1459 replica, crushing the SCP-1459-1 replica. This process is repeated for an indefinite number of times, until the SCP-1459 replicas become too small to observe with a microscope.
筆記:Cookie was dispensed after 35 days.

玩家:Walker博士
陳述:"Retroactive Cessation of Existence"
結果:A sound played from SCP-1459 indicating that this method had already been attempted.
筆記:Despite the indication that this method had already been attempted, SCP-1459 proceeded to dispense a plain cookie.

玩家:Milo博士
陳述:"Euthanasia roller coaster"
結果:Standard roller coaster track similar in appearance to the original roller coaster experiment, but of slightly larger width, constructed leading 45° upwards into the ceiling trap door. Approximately ninety minutes later, the ceiling hole expanded. Track at a slightly downward-sloping angle, facing the opposite direction as the original, was constructed leading directly into the front viewing window, presumably somehow contiguous with the initial portion. SCP-1459-1 instance picked up and deposited into a roller coaster car, which immediately began to ascend along the track at a steady pace into the ceiling hole. Twelve minutes later, the cart and SCP-1459-1 were observed to coast back down the other visible track portion and gently bump into the window, halting the cart. SCP-1459-1 retrieved by a robotic arm, deceased.
Notes: Track was dismantled, while the clean-up devices did not appear. Message played as usual.

玩家:Milo博士
陳述:"Supernova"
結果:After a two-minute pause, SCP-1459-1 deposited as usual. It was then bludgeoned by robotic arms wielding an electric guitar (subsequently identified as an Epiphone Supernova model) and a synthesizer keyboard (subsequently identified as a Novation Supernova model), after which the robotic arms shot it several times with a shotgun (subsequently identified as a Benelli Supernova model).
Notes: Rather than cookie, 80g of radioactive ash was dispensed. Milo博士 reassigned to paperwork, and to mandatory astronomy education.

玩家:Villmow博士
陳述:"Not a dog; bludgeoning"
結果:A sound played from SCP-1459 indicating that this method had already been attempted.

玩家:Aeslinger博士,心理學博士
陳述:"Um…what?"
結果:SCP-1459-1 was dispensed with a collar flashing the following messages at the player:

  1. "Take one puppy." Message was visible for approximately 4 seconds as SCP-1459-1 ambled around inside SCP-1459.
  2. "State method of destruction." Message was visible for approximately 6 seconds while SCP-1459 played a looped sample of Aeslinger博士 saying "Um…what."
  3. "Puppy is then destroyed according to specified requirements." Message was visible for approximately 5 seconds before SCP-1459-1 was forcibly liquified. Collar inexplicably remained both untouched and functional, and uncovered by liquified remains.
  4. "COOKIE!" Message was visible for approximately 2 seconds before collar stopped displaying messages altogether and a cookie was dispensed as usual.

筆記:Aeslinger博士 was not aware of SCP-1459's nature and in fact was not scheduled to be in Sector-25 at all. Cookie dispensed was raspberry surprise.

玩家:Snider博士
陳述:"Black Hole"
結果:SCP-1459's arms spent approx. 19 hours constructing what appeared to be a miniature cyclic particle accelerator. Once completed, an instance of SCP-1459-1 (teacup chihuahua) was dispensed in the center. The particle accelerator activated, shaking violently for several minutes before bursting open at one end, revealing a marble-sized black hole, the gravitational pull of which proceeded to draw in and crush the remains of the accelerator. SCP-1459-1 itself was quickly pulled towards the black hole before slowing down and appearing to "freeze" in place, with visible evidence of spaghettification on its ears and muzzle. SCP-1459-1's body slowly red-shifted to solid black before fading to complete invisibility over the course of 23 minutes. Black hole immediately dissipated afterwards. SCP-1459's main components were undamaged.
Notes: Cookie dispensed was made with pure, unsweetened dark chocolate (100% cocoa solids).

玩家:Snider博士
陳述:"Unfunny Jokes"
結果: Window to SCP-1459's chamber was immediately covered by a pair of red curtains. Approx. 15 minutes later, curtains were drawn to reveal instance of SCP-1459-1 (Pembroke Welsh Corgi) standing on a miniature stage with a microphone stand and red brick backdrop lit with a single spotlight. SCP-1459-1 wore only a large, red-and-green bow tie. SCP-1459-1 barked three times into the microphone, then paused and looked around the chamber, as if awaiting a response. Sounds of jeering and booing are heard, followed by several mechanical arms rising up from the floor and hurling what appear to be tomatoes at SCP-1459-1 in rapid succession, quickly pelting it to death. More tomatoes were thrown until SCP-1459-1's body was completely obscured. Corpse was quickly disposed of via a mechanical arm wielding a shepherd's crook.
Notes: Ending message was changed to "that's the way the cookie crumbles". Small pile of cookie crumbs dispensed afterwards.

玩家:Snider博士
陳述:"Go to hell"
結果:Instance of SCP-1459-1 (indeterminate breed) released as normal. Entire chamber glowed a deep red, followed by small flames erupting along edge of windows. Second instance of SCP-1459-1 appeared from side of chamber, much larger in size than the first instance, with a skeletal body and three heads, each wearing an elastic headband with small plastic "devil" horns. Second instance barks six times, one head barking twice after the other. A trapdoor immediately opens up underneath first instance of SCP-1459-1, sending it plummeting out of sight with a frightened whine. A plume of flames erupts from the trapdoor for six seconds before shutting. Second instance of SCP-1459-1 was killed afterwards as the chamber's light shifted from red to blue and the flames went out. Temperatures within SCP-1459 dropped below freezing as remaining SCP-1459-1 froze to death over the course of six seconds, shattered via hammer once completely frozen.
筆記:Cookie dispensed was Fig Newton. Although not displaying any anomalous or dangerous properties, Snider博士 reported that Fig Newtons are his least favorite kind of cookie.

玩家:Selvece博士
陳述:"Something incomprehensible."
結果:A pair of mechanical hands emerged from the roof of SCP-1459, carrying a copy of Finnegans' Wake by James Joyce; said copy was then used to beat the instance of SCP-1459-1 to death.

玩家:Snider博士
陳述:"Dubstep."
結果:Two speakers with no cables attached are lowered from the top by mechanical arms, and put on the back side of the chamber. After the mechanical arms retracted to the roof, the speakers started playing music, identified as dubstep music, with volume gradually increasing. After 20 seconds, Snider博士 was given protective headphones. It is hypothesized that the volume inside the chamber was an approximate 15█ dB before the instance of SCP-1459-1 deceased, presumably from internal bleeding.
筆記:A cookie with popping candy was disposed.

玩家:Snider博士
陳述:"Stretch."
結果:SCP-1459 played the sound effect indicating the method had been previously used.

玩家:Snider博士
陳述:"Photoshop."
結果:Multiple mechanical arms started to make numerous surgical modifications to the SCP-1459-1 instance (such as removing a leg and attaching it to its back), until the instance died of blood loss.
筆記:A cookie with four different ingredients on four sides was dispensed.

玩家:Snider博士
陳述:"Kittenpocalypse."
Results: A currently unknown number of juvenile domestic felines (Felis catus) were disposed from the roof of SCP-1459, which attacked the SCP-1459-1 instance until it deceased. The rest of the felines were disposed of via a trapdoor, and unwilling felines were killed via SCP-1459's default bludgeoning method.
筆記:A short beep sound was played during the ending sequence.

玩家:Shiro博士
陳述:"Crushed by a triceratops ridden by Ayn Rand shouting quotes from Atlas Shrugged, Also Sprach Zarathustra and The Critique of Pure Reason."
結果:SCP-1459 played the sound effect indicating the method had been previously used.

玩家:Shiro博士
陳述:"The dawn of a new age"
結果:A 2'' x 8'' x 18'' black stone was lowered into the chamber along with several SCP-1459-1 instances. SCP-1459-1 instances split into 2 groups, one gathering around the stone and the others grouping in the far side of the chamber. Instances gathered around the stone spend several minutes observing it before attacking and killing the members of the other group. Surviving SCP-1459-1 instances are killed via the default bludgeoning method.
筆記:Ending message changed to "So much for enlightenment". Fudge brownie with dimensions of .5'' x 2'' x 4.5'' containing walnuts dispensed.

玩家:Heikkila博士
陳述:"Something that I would find funny"
結果:SCP-1459 slowly lowered an instance of SCP-1459-1 wearing a miniature Christmas sweater to the tune of the theme of the 1984 film Terminator. After approximately half a minute, a mechanical hand lowered a jar filled with what were tentatively identified as driver ants (Dorylus). The hand then smashed the jar on the chamber floor in front of SCP-1459-1. The ants began to bite and tear at SCP-1459-1, which attempted to escape the chamber. After 2 minutes of this, SCP-1459-1 collapsed, twitching. A spiked bowling ball then fell on SCP-1459-1's skull, crushing it. The bowling ball then exploded in fireworks. The remains of SCP-1459-1 and the ants were then swept up in a dustpan with a miniature broom while a sound bite of the death noise from the video game Super Mario Brothers 3 played. Confetti then rained from the ceiling of SCP-1459, and the sound of a party-blower played. During all of this, Heikkila博士 was chuckling softly to himself.
筆記:The cookie was dispensed with a note taped on it that read "I know you don't like cookies". The cookie was tested for any anomalous properties, but none have been identified. Heikkila博士 has been ordered to undergo psychiatric evaluation.

玩家:Muse博士
陳述:"The Apocalypse."
結果:A sound played from SCP-1459 indicating that this method had already been attempted.

玩家:Muse博士
陳述:"The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse."
結果:A sound played from SCP-1459 indicating that this method had already been attempted.

玩家:Muse博士
陳述:"The wrath of God."
結果:SCP-1459-1 struck by a bolt of lightning from within SCP-1459 and instantly killed.
筆記:Muse博士 took a brief respite for his sight and hearing to recover before continuing.

玩家:Muse博士
陳述:"The Four Pseudo-Puppies of the Apocalypse."
結果:Three Shih Tzu instances SCP-1459-1 descended from the hatch, one with a crown and white fur, one with a combat knife in its mouth and red fur, and one heavily emaciated with black fur. The white instance tackled SCP-1459-1 to the ground and then perched atop it as the red instance began stabbing the downed SCP-1459-1 and the black instance began mauling it. After thirty seconds, what appeared to be the animated skeleton of a Shih Tzu puppy descended from the hatch and dragged the remains into the trapdoor, followed by the three other instances.

玩家:Muse博士
陳述:"Eviscerated by an inconceivable amount of dog-produced bees."
結果:SCP-1459-1's eyes popped out as an indeterminate number of bees flew out of its various orifices and began stinging it, with more bees continuing to exit the instance's body until the chamber was filled with bees. A mechanical arm carrying a vacuum descended shortly thereafter and removed the bees, then swept the cleanly disemboweled corpse of SCP-1459-1 into the trapdoor.
筆記:A honey cookie with raisins was dispensed.

玩家:Muse博士
陳述:"Consumed by one non-anomalous goldfish of ordinary size."
結果:Chamber filled to half capacity with water and SCP-1459-1 submerged to its neck by a mechanical arm. A single normal goldfish was lowered into the water and proceeded to consume SCP-1459-1 overnight.
筆記:Despite the goldfish consuming the instance of SCP-1459-1 at the expected rate of a goldfish consuming a puppy, personnel returned in the morning to the sight of the water, SCP-1459-1's bones, and a bloated goldfish draining into the hatch.

玩家:Hong博士
陳述:"Yāozhǎn." (Translation: 'Waist chop', a form of execution in ancient China.)
結果:SCP-1459 lowers a small wooden bench fitted with restraints into the chamber. SCP-1459-1 instance is seized by mechanical arms and forced to lie supine on the bench. Another arm, bearing a modified hacksaw, descends and proceeds to saw the SCP-1459-1 instance in a manner similar to a hemicorporecomy (translumbar amputation).

玩家:Hong博士
陳述:"Lingchi." (Translation: 'Death by a thousand cuts.')
結果:As the SCP-1459-1 instance cowers prone, it is sliced by several blades on the limbs and posterior torso. SCP-1459-1 rolls over supine (common in canine body language to express submission or helplessness) and the blades continue to slice at the exposed abdomen. The last cut is to the bared throat of the SCP-1459-1 instance, severing the carotid artery and allowing the instance to expire.

玩家:Hong博士
陳述:"Chángchéng." (Translation: 'Long Fortification', or more commonly, 'Great Wall'.)
結果:After a one-minute interval, SCP-1459 produces a folding table and laptop, scaled down so as to be commensurate with the provided SCP-1459-1 instance. The laptop is seen to display various content currently censored by the mainland Chinese government, including websites dedicated to pornography, the Taiwanese government, the Dalai Lama, and pro-democracy movements. SCP-1459 then produces three more instances of SCP-1459-1 wearing the uniform of the Public Security Bureau, which proceed to attack and kill the first instance.
筆記:"Huh. I was not expecting that. Forgot it could mean the Great Firewall, too…" - Hong博士

玩家:Hong博士
陳述:"Wanli chángchéng." (Translation: 'Ten-Thousand-League Long Fortification', more commonly referred to as the Great Wall of China.)
結果:One dozen (male) instances of SCP-1459-1 are released, along with tools and building materials that include stone, brick, earth, and wood. Instances proceed to build a scale model of a portion of the Great Wall of China complete with battlements, guard and signal towers, barracks, and stairways. The work is clearly strenuous and hazardous; all but one of the SCP-1459-1 instances die during construction, the last collapsing and appearing to expire soon after completion. A thirteenth (female) SCP-1459-1 instance, released after the completion of the Wall, whines upon seeing the other deceased instances and jumps off the parapet of the highest tower, dying on impact.
筆記:"Now *that's* more like it." - Hong博士

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