Abstract: What are the general properties of the water contained in SCP-242? Does the water retain any SCP like properties when removed from the location?
Proposal: Determine if the water is safe for human consumption both while in the SCP and outside of it.
Required equipment/personnel:
- Two (2) titanium Atmospheric Dive Suits altered to fit the testing criteria
- Two (2) Class D Personnel of like gender and race, age range to within three (3) years
- One (1) food grade titanium barrel, one hundred and ninety (190) liter capacity
- One (1) remotely controlled overhead crane capable of lifting twenty (20) metric tons
- One (1) automated titanium siphon system
- One (1) wireless communication system for separate links to and from both dive suits
- One (1) home fumigation tenting unit used to create a neighborhood subterfuge
Estimated Budget: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Status: Approved (██/██/20██; Drs. ███ and ████████)
Results: Transcript attached for review. Contact Dr. ██████ for a full Lab Report.
Dr. ██████: Alright, once you've entered the dive suit, we'll lower you into the pool. All you need to do is take a drink from the metal straw by your mouth when instructed to do so.
Test Subject A: Uhhh, I can't see out of this thing. Shouldn't there be glass here? Why is it all metal?
Dr. ██████: That's classified. Just get into the dive suit please.
<sound of overhead crane followed by a loud splash>
Dr. ██████: Is the barrel full yet?
Test Subject B: Yep. All full.
Dr. ██████: Good. Remove the siphon and get into the other dive suit. You will not be placed into the pool. Just drink from the metal straw fed from the barrel when instructed to do so.
Test Subject B: So if I ain't going in the pool, why am I getting into that thing?
Dr. ██████: <sighs> Again, that is classified. We went over this in the debrief. Just do as instructed please.
<mechanical sounds>
Test Subject B: Damn it's dark in here. There's no light? How will I find the straw when I…oh…there it is.
Dr. ██████: SCP-242, Experiment 17, time zero set. Test Subject A, please take a sip from the straw and tell me what you experience.
Test Subject A: Ah…it's pretty warm. There's a weird chemical aftertaste, but it doesn't last long.
Dr. ██████: Good, thank you. Test Subject B, please take a sip from the straw and tell me what you experience.
Test Subject B: Hmm. Its cool. And…tastes like…well…nothing. It's good!
Dr. ██████: OK.
<A loud, long belch is heard, followed by laughter from Test Subject A>
Dr. ██████: Test Subject A, what is going on? Please take another sip.
Test Subject A: Wow. I've got lots of gas. Eeew! This stuff is really warm now. And it stings my mouth. How much longer is this test?
Dr. ██████: OK. Test Subject B, please take a sip.
Test Subject B: Yep. Same as before. No taste or smell at all. The water…is this water? It's cool and pleasant.
Dr. ██████: Test Subject A, please repeat the process.
Test Subject A: Ow! [REDACTED] this is really hot now! And…HEY! What the [REDACTED]?! Is that one of my fillings!? What the [REDACTED] is this [REDACTED]?!
Dr. ██████: Please just report your experience as succinctly as possible. Fillings can be replaced. Test Subject B, please repeat the process.
Test Subject B: This is boring, doc. Seems like a lot of hassle just to give us a drink of water.
Dr. ██████: Test Subject A, please repeat.
<choking and gurgling sounds>
Dr. ██████: Test Subject A, please respond.
<sound of a muffled scream followed by electrical shorting>
Dr. ██████: Test Subject B, please repeat.
Test Subject B: Ahh! Yep. Still nice.
Dr. ██████: OK. Test Subject B, we're moving to the next phase which is a full medical analysis. But you'll need to uhh…decompress…before you can exit the suit. It will take several hours, so get comfortable in there. Please take a drink every time the indicator light goes on and let me know if anything changes. Use the urination adapter as needed.
Test Subject B: Understood. Damn, that was easy!
Testing was ended due to internal electrical and subsequent structural failure of Atmospheric Dive Suit A. Retrieval was not attempted; complete loss of Atmospheric Dive Suit A occurred after approximately 15 hours.
Test Subject B was extracted after 17 hours. No physiological changes were detected. Subject B's urine was recovered and showed no extraordinary properties. Subject B has been released to the Class D Pool Group for future reuse.
The water remaining in the barrel was left to evaporate and did so within the expected time frame. No residue of any kind remained.
