“你见过神吗,Clyde?”
Morgan坐在黄红发色的吉他手对面,而对方依然一如往常,正调整着手里其中一把吉他的音。他们本来是准备在Morgan的公寓里为专辑写一首新歌的,但却花了整整两个小时在看电视和为乐器调音上。两人相对无言,各忙各的,而Morgan的问题十分生硬地打断了这僵局。
“呃?你啥意思?”
Morgan坐在原地,连头都没抬,盯着眼前一大叠的乐谱。“就这意思啊。你见过神吗?你的父母是天主教徒吧?”
Clyde眯起双眼,看着对方。“是啊。不过,我可从来没认真看待那玩意。不是我的菜。”他拨动了一下D弦,柔和的音符在公寓之中回响,然后转瞬即逝。“老兄,如果你接下来不说点什么补充一下的话,这问题可就真TM古怪了,”
Morgan继续漫不经心地翻看着乐谱。“好奇而已。”他停顿了一下,然后继续说道,“因为我见过。”
Clyde愣住了。这句话似乎胶着在两人之间,空气中仿佛充满了嗡嗡作响,发出噼啪声,又迅速消失的电波。
“噢,你见过?”Clyde大笑着,随便拨了下另一根弦。“他有着一大把灰胡子,穿白披肩是吗?”
Morgan笑了。“不是。没胡子,也没披肩。“他把手里的纸揉乱,然后胡乱扔在了一旁。“你知道我在一个浸信会家庭里长大吧。我妈妈很虔诚,虽然我在离开之前都不知道什么是宗教狂热,但她简直就是个活生生的例子。如果圣灵给她下命令,她会跑到教堂前面,又唱又叫还在地上打滚。”
“浸信会?你说的是那些神经兮兮的南方浸信会教徒?”
“是啊,你可以这么理解。说一不二,行动迅速的那种。在为主辩护时从来不犹豫,从来不怀疑他们的信仰。那帮人真的是彻彻底底的信徒。虽然每个人都这么说,说他们见过了神。”
Clyde扑哧一笑。“你还真信了他们?”
Morgan耸了耸肩。“没有,至少开始的时候没有。我小时候大部分时间都是和我爸在一起。他很……理智。他和我妈在大学里认识的,我听说他们俩几乎是形影不离。”他抬头向着Clyde看去,表情肃穆而冷静。“估计我的出生改变了什么吧。我妈妈想用她父亲养她的态度来教育我,觉得我们必须要端正对神的态度。这就是她开始去教堂的原因。”
某位吉他手怀疑地打量着他。“好吧,我真不知道你想表达什么。”
Morgan无视了对方。“我只要和妈妈在一起时,都会跟着她去参加祷告仪式。一开始她逼着我去,但一段时间后我……我主动想参加了。这些人,我不知道,他们很与众不同。他们真是全心全意地信着某种事物。所有人都对他们的主如此忠诚,即使他们并不知道祂的样貌。”
Clyde小吸了一口气。“你说什么?”
“我在他们的眼中看到了它。我不清楚,Clyde,那就跟透过一块肮脏的玻璃向着黯淡无光的彼端看去一样。他们正试图用湿木头点燃火星,而后方则是一整片熊熊燃烧的森林。”
“我……我不知道你在说啥。”
此刻Morgan的存在,仿佛正吞噬着整个房间一般。“他们崇拜着一个神明,但那其实不是他们真正的神,就跟崇拜神的脚趾甲或者发丝一样。他们眼力太差,视野也太狭窄,他们……”他的声音渐趋沉默。
两人静静坐着,任房间内的沉默将他们紧紧包裹住。Clyde感觉胳膊上寒毛倒竖,突然意识到了他们并不是屋内唯一的存在。“Morgan,”他缓缓说道,“你从那里搬走之前,到底发生了什么?”
对方没有立刻回答,而Clyde感受到屋内的存在在他们身旁伸展开来,许多长而曲折的肢体轻触着他们,又逐渐消失在他看不见的地方。他感觉到有什么东西正沿着他的背脊蛇行而上,攀上他的肩膀,缠绕着他的喉颈。他咳嗽了一声,而当他转过头时,Morgan正直直地盯着他。
“那是夜晚集会的时间。Black牧师说他会带来蛇,而我们将会从他对蟒蛇的操纵之中见证神的荣光。他们-我妈妈,”他踌躇了一下。“这就是他们梦寐以求的奇迹,见证他们在一生之中所崇拜的一切,化为现实。”
“有什么东西不太对劲。没人看出来,但在那些蛇,Black牧师,还有他们所有人背后,有着某种东西。它从他们的身体里穿行,留下涟漪荡漾。想象一下,你用手划过水面时,你可以看见周围的水随着它的轨迹在动。它就是那只手-不对,一根手指,可能比那还要微小。Clyde,它是神的眼睫毛。你一旦看到了睫毛,就能看到眼睛,然后再往后退一步就能看到脸庞,接下来……它的全貌就在那里。当Black牧师把蛇举起来,周围的世界开始扭曲的那一刻,我看穿了一切,而神就站在后面。我看到了它的面庞,它也看到了我,认同了我,感受到了我。”
Morgan的手向身旁探去,拿起了他之前读着的乐谱。“Clyde,这是首歌。我把它写出来是因为……别管了。我写了首歌,它十分优美,但这并不是我的词句。就像一滴雨水无法描摹出整个峡谷一样,我也并没有写出这首歌。直到完成它之后,我才看到了它的真实面目。”
“所以……它是什么?”
乐队的主唱摇了摇手里的稿纸。“Clyde,它是这个东西,这个……它是神啊!它就在这里,在我面前。那晚它看见我时,我立刻就知道它是个-我不知该怎么说,某个已然伴随我一生的存在。它无处不在,我可以从它创造的万事万物中看到规律。它正利用着我,利用着我们,来完成……某些事情。或许它自己也不明白,只是一直做着自己该做的事情,因为这就是它的本性。”他深深喘了一口气。“我以为只要,只要我们离开北卡罗来纳州,这一切就会结束了。我以为它或许还没有看见我,但是……它看见了。它一直在凝视我们。”
Morgan把背包提了上来,把那一叠乐谱重新塞进了里面。“我会把歌词放进我的包里,Clyde。你估计不会记得这次谈话,但你等下得在这里面好好翻一下,找到它,然后把它放进专辑里。它希望我们这么做。我也一样。它会用这首歌来做些什么的,就在不远的未来……像是把它的双臂探入水中一样。”
“你曾见过神吗,Clyde?”
Morgan坐在黄红发色的吉他手对面,而对方依然一如往常,正调整着手里其中一把吉他的音。他们本来是准备在Morgan的公寓里为专辑写一首新歌的,但却花了整整两个小时看电视和为乐器调音上。两人相对无言,各忙各的,而Morgan的问题十分生硬地打断了这沉默。
Clyde抬头看向对方,耸了耸肩。“没有,我没见过。问这个干嘛?”
Morgan停顿了一下,双眼仿佛正在重新适应屋内的环境一样。他往后靠去,看着Clyde叹了口气。
“没啥,随便问问。我只是好奇而已。我……我先去拿杯啤酒了啊。需要我帮你带点别的么?”
Clyde摇了摇头。“不用啦,老兄。”
Morgan起身,缓缓走出了房间。Clyde继续漫无目的地在指板上弹奏着,直到Morgan包里露出的一叠纸吸引了他的注意力为止。
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:root { /* header measurements */ --header-height-on-desktop: 10rem; --header-height-on-mobile: 10rem; --header-h1-font-size: clamp(2rem, 5vw, 2.8125rem); --header-h2-font-size: clamp(0.875rem, 3vw, 0.9375rem); --logo-image: url("https://nu-scptheme.github.io/Black-Highlighter/img/logo.svg"); } #header { --search-textbox-text-color: var(--swatch-secondary-color); background: none; } #header::before { content: " "; position: absolute; width: 100%; height: 100%; left: 0; top: 0.75rem; background-image: var(--logo-image); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-position: center 0; background-size: auto calc(var(--header-height-on-desktop) - 1.5rem); opacity: 0.8; pointer-events: none; } #header h1, #header h2 { margin: 0; padding: 0; width: 100%; height: var(--header-height-on-desktop); display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: center; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: center; } #header h1 a, #header h1 a::before, #header h2 span, #header h2 span::before { margin: 0; padding: 0; z-index: 0; display: block; text-align: center; } #header h1 { z-index: 1; } #header h1 a::before, #header h1 a::after { content: var(--header-title); } #header h1 a::before { color: rgb(var(--swatch-text-tertiary-color)); z-index: -1; -webkit-text-stroke: 0.325rem rgb(var(--swatch-text-dark)); } #header h1 a::after { color: rgb(var(--swatch-headerh1-color)); z-index: 1; } #header h2 { z-index: 0; text-transform: uppercase; pointer-events: none; } #header h2 span { margin-top: calc(var(--header-height-on-mobile)/2 + var(--header-h1-font-size)/2 - 2em); } #header h2 span::before, #header h2 span::after { --wght: 600; content: var(--header-subtitle); position: absolute; left: 50%; transform: translateY(-50%) translateX(-50%); width: 100%; text-align: center; } #header h2 span::before { -webkit-text-stroke: 0.25rem rgb(var(--swatch-text-dark)); } #header h2 span::after { color: rgb(var(--swatch-headerh2-color)); z-index: 1; } #search-top-box form[id="search-top-box-form"]:not(:focus-within) input[type="text"] { color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); } @media (min-width: 36rem) { #login-status { flex-grow: 1; left: 3%; right: initial; } #login-status::before { --mask-image: none; background-color: transparent; } #login-status:not(:focus-within) { color: rgb(var(--login-line-divider-color)); -webkit-user-select: initial; -moz-user-select: initial; -ms-user-select: initial; user-select: initial; } #login-status #account-topbutton, #login-status:not(:focus-within) #account-topbutton { --clip-path: polygon( 0 0, 100% 0, 100% 100%, 0 100% ); background-color: rgba(var(--login-arrow-color), 0); } #login-status #account-topbutton::before{ --clip-path: polygon( 30% 35%, 70% 35%, 50% 60%, 50% 60% ); --mask-image: initial; content: ""; position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; background-color: rgba(var(--login-arrow-color), 1); -webkit-clip-path: var(--clip-path); clip-path: var(--clip-path); } #login-status #account-topbutton::before, #login-status:not(:focus-within) #account-topbutton::before, #login-status:not(:focus-within) #account-topbutton:hover::before { --clip-path: polygon( 30% 35%, 70% 35%, 50% 60%, 50% 60% ); --mask-image: initial; } #login-status:not(:focus-within) #account-topbutton::after { display: none; } #login-status:not(:focus-within) *:not(#account-topbutton):not([href*="account/messages"]) { --clip-path: polygon( 0 0, 100% 0, 100% 100%, 0 100% ); pointer-events: all; -webkit-clip-path: var(--clip-path); clip-path: var(--clip-path); } #login-status:not(:focus-within) *:not(#account-topbutton):not(#account-options):not([href*="account/messages"]) { opacity: 1; } #login-status #my-account { --wght: 300; } #account-options { background: var(--gradient-header); } #search-top-box { top: 1.5em; right: 3%; background: rgba(var(--search-focus-textbox-bg-color), 0.4); } #search-top-box:focus-within ~ #login-status { opacity: 1; } #search-top-box::after { transition: background-color 150ms cubic-bezier(0.4, 0, 0.2, 1), -webkit-clip-path 150ms cubic-bezier(0.4, 0, 0.2, 1); transition: background-color 150ms cubic-bezier(0.4, 0, 0.2, 1), clip-path 150ms cubic-bezier(0.4, 0, 0.2, 1); transition: background-color 150ms cubic-bezier(0.4, 0, 0.2, 1), clip-path 150ms cubic-bezier(0.4, 0, 0.2, 1), -webkit-clip-path 150ms cubic-bezier(0.4, 0, 0.2, 1); } #search-top-box:not(:focus-within)::after { --clip-path: polygon( 0 0, 100% 0, 100% 100%, 0% 100% ); background-color: rgba(var(--search-icon-bg-color, --dark-accent), 1); -webkit-clip-path: var(--clip-path); clip-path: var(--clip-path); } #search-top-box:not(:focus-within):hover::after { --clip-path: polygon( 0 0, 100% 0, 100% 100%, 0 100% ); background-color: rgb(var(--search-icon-hover-bg-color)); } #search-top-box form[id="search-top-box-form"]:not(:focus-within) { max-width: var(--search-width); } #search-top-box form[id="search-top-box-form"]:not(:focus-within) input[type="text"] { max-width: var(--search-width); padding: 0 var(--search-height) 0 1em; outline-width: 0; background-color: rgb(var(--search-focus-textbox-bg-color), 0.35); color: rgba(var(--search-textbox-text-color), 0.4); cursor: pointer; } #search-top-box form[id="search-top-box-form"]:not(:focus-within) input[type="submit"], #search-top-box form[id="search-top-box-form"]:focus-within input[type="submit"] { pointer-events: all; border: none; } } #page-title::after, .meta-title::after, #page-title::before, .meta-title::before { content: ""; flex-grow: 1; height: 0.0625rem; background: rgb(var(--swatch-primary)); } #page-title::before, .meta-title::before { margin: auto 1.25rem auto auto; }