SCP-2011-EX
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div.top-icon, div.right-icon, div.left-icon, div.bottom-icon {
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/* MOBILE QUERY */
@media (max-width: 480px ) {
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}
 
/*-------------------------*/
 
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@keyframes bottomup {
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@keyframes expand1 {
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@keyframes iconslide {
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@keyframes expand2 {
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@keyframes fade {
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@keyframes flowIn {
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@keyframes arrowspin {
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项目编号:項目編號:SCP-2011-EX
等级等級5
收容等级:收容等級:
已解明
次要等级:次要等級:
{$secondary-class}
扰动等级:擾動等級:
{$disruption-class}
风险等级:風險等級:
{$risk-class}

SECRETARY.jpg

McCartney二号

特殊收容措施:N/A


已归档描述:SCP-2011为Paul McCartney爵士的“临时秘书.译注:网易云版见,是一首发布于1980年的McCartney二号专辑中的电子流行乐曲。SCP-2011的歌词描述了歌手无来由地对“Mark先生”要求派遣一位“临时秘书”,详细说明了她无需满足的各种要求。

SCP-2011的重制版发布于2011/01/01且随后威胁到了O5-4的生命。自此之后,其已被列为4级音频危害,且暂时不对公众开放访问。对其异常性质的研究正在进行中。


附录2011-EX-1,背景:当询问McCartney为何写作SCP-2011时,他说:

“它就像个一次性秘书一样,可以让我觉得很有趣。这首歌是从一个只想要个一次性秘书的家伙的视角写作的,而他正写信给办事处索要一个。我就是喜欢这个点子。我就是觉得它很有趣,你懂的,索要一个临时秘书而不是一个秘书。”

很显然,这说明不了什么。

附录2011-EX-2:测试记录
记录员:Q. Langley,模因与信息危害部主任
<开始记录>
[D-11064坐在测试间中,带有一个包含SCP-2011的音频播放器以及耳机。他对面坐着O5-4,两人被双重加固的隔音玻璃隔开,并通过文字终端通讯。]

O5-4:戴上耳机。

[D-11064将耳机放至耳边,警惕地看着O5-4。]

O5-4:不用怕。放歌。

D-11064:当然可以

[D-11064按下播放键。他表现出了困惑的表情。]

O5-4:请描述你的反应。

D-11064:我觉得很怪?

O5-4:细说。

D-11064:我是觉得,那种合成音很乖
*怪

O5-4:行,但是你感觉怎么样?

D-11064:焦虑,有点吧
实际上我听多了之后也没那么烂

[O5-4转向研究员Langley,其已确认D-11064的生命体征未受影响。]

D-11064:哈哈哈这家伙到底说的是什么??
笑死真的荒谬

O5-4:你没有感觉到什么不良反应吗?

D-11064:没吧?不过这是首超级怪的歌

O5-4:你能听清楚吗?

D-11064:我听得很清楚,对
这家伙在说什么??他想在他自己的秘书不在的时候找个临时秘书来操?
他是不是还操过自己的秘书?什么鬼他有病吧

[D-11064笑了,将一只手按到耳机上。过了一会,他将耳机摘下。]

D-11064:卧槽就这?笑死

O5-4:这首歌没让你有什么感觉吗?

D-11064:要说实话吗?我还想再听一遍,现在这破烂玩意在我脑子里单曲循环了

[O5-4叹气并结束了测试。]
<结束记录>
笔记:之后由Langley博士彻底检查了一遍,似乎SCP-2011并未包含危害属性。D-11064被允许在休闲时间收听该歌曲的复制版。

附录2011-EX-3:采访记录
采访者:O5-4
受访者:P. McCartney爵士(下称PoI-2011)
前言:应O5要求,PoI-2011被扣留并带至Site-01接受审问。
<开始记录>
[PoI-2011与O5-4面对面地坐在后者的办公室中。

PoI-2011:你想就这么盯着我,还是……?

O5-4:McCartney爵士,我相信你有很多疑问。我们并不经常将平民拖进来,尤其是在这里。

PoI-2011:我没犯法,我告诉你,所以如果你是政府的人或什么的,那你可以滚了。我现在还有场音乐会要去,而且——

O5-4:临时秘书是他妈什么东西?

PoI-2011:不好意思,啥?

O5-4:你没听错。你还想回去继续演出?回答问题。

[短暂停顿。]

PoI-2011:你的头是倒着长的吗?你抓我来就是为了问一首歌的事情?你他妈到底是从哪来的?

[O5-4用拳头猛击桌子。]

O5-4:你跟我说这种垃圾是?不仅歌词毫无意义,你还用这烂得爆表的合成音在我耳朵里演奏那种傻逼十二音!你这是在耍我吧,Paul。

[再次停顿。O5-4做了一次深呼吸。]

O5-4:那么,我再问你一次。那首歌到底是什么鬼回事?

[PoI-2011叹了口气,向后靠在椅背上。]

PoI-2011:听着,我那——我当时心情很不好,对吧?然后我们还得录另一首歌,我们快耗尽录音室的时间了,我还回想起了John和George在这种情况下通常是如何接管的。我有些挺不错的想法但他们总是给它否决掉,这总能把我惹怒。

PoI-2011:那,我刚刚有说“搞砸”,对吧?那如果我直接用脑子里的随便一个想法写首歌然后不去怀疑自己会怎样呢?那如果我忽略掉脑子里John的声音会怎样呢?可能会出什么问题呢?

[长时间的停顿。O5-4将手伸至办公桌抽屉里,拿出两个杯子和一瓶威士忌。他给两人都倒了一杯。]

O5-4:很对不起。我理解那是什么感觉。我在议会里大喊大叫的次数比我想承认的要多得多。

PoI-2011:……好。行吧。我没特别对这首歌自豪或者什么,我只是想尝试一下。还有些人特别喜欢它,我猜。

[O5-4点点头,抿了一小口杯中的酒。]

PoI-2011:为什么它会让你陷得这么深?我是说,它到底对你干了什么?

[短暂停顿。]

O5-4:“临时秘书”让我撞车了,Paul。
<结束记录>
后记:PoI-2011随后被清除记忆并以酗了一晚上的酒为掩盖故事送回其酒店。O5-4不再被允许在未经议会的允许之下继续独立研究,且公司新汽车的费用已从他的工资中扣除。



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